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My day started at 4am when I woke up for God only knows what reason.  It was quickly followed by The Daddy telling my groggy little brain that there was no coffee creamer.  WHAT!!??  Okay, grab the jeans and sweatshirt and head out the door to get some coffee creamer.  The Daddy had made due with nonfat milk and Splenda but, I’m sorry, I need French Vanilla yummy goodness!  It turns out that VONS does not open until 5am.  Crap.  There is an Albertson’s down the street.  But I realize I don’t want to try Albertson’s and have it possibly be closed when there is a gas station that is open 24 hours right by it.  So to the Circle K I go to pay waaaay too much for  tiny bottle of coffee creamer.  A Mommy’s gotta do what a Mommy’s gotta do.

With the coffee creamer finally added to my morning cup, I go to start the dishwasher so that I’ll have some plates and bottles to feed the Tot and realize that we are out of dishwasher detergent.  What exactly do you call dishwasher detergent, anyway?  I want to call it dish detergent but that could very easily be confused with the liquid dishwashing detergent and that is definitely NOT what I want to put in my dishwasher!  But I digress.    I wish I had realized that I needed dish detergent when I went out to the store at 4:30am!  Oh well.  I guess I’ll have to stop by the store on the way home from the doctor’s office today.  Oh, did I mention I had a gynecologist’s appointment today?  Yeah.  Fun.

Things are percolating along with The Tot fighting her first nap a little bit but finally going down in plenty of time to get up before the doc’s appointment.  She wakes up in plenty of time and I have remembered to bring a bottle since her second feeding of the day will need to happen while we’re out and about.  That’s amazing in and of itself!  The Tot is dressed and we arrive on time.  Unfortunately, the doc is running late and it is almost an hour before we are seen.  I have resorted to tap dancing for The Tot to keep her from crawling out of her skin.  Not really but I did have to do some creative entertaining that involved not only the crinkly examination table paper but also the nice paper napkin thingie they give you to put over your lap area during the exam.  I would have rather tap danced but I was “nekked from the waist down”.  Please don’t get a visual on that…it’s not pretty.

Next we stopped by the grocery store just to pick up the dish detergent and some more Puffs (I realized after the early morning store run that we were low on Puffs as well…not good) because nap time was rapidly approaching.  When we got home, The Tot was rocked and put down and immediately started crying like her life depended on it.  Oh crap.  One of those days.  I chalked it up to being out of her routine all weekend (we were out of town) and rocked her a couple more minutes until she fell asleep.  Whew.

I sat down to read a book while The Tot was sleeping (another minor miracle!) and thought “It’s nice and cool today.  It finally feels like winter.  I think I’ll start a fire in the fireplace since we’re not going to go out any more today.”  Wrong.  The Daddy had used the last fire log yesterday.  Crap.  I turned the heater on instead and really enjoyed myself despite the lack of fire.  It was nice and relaxing to forget about all of the “have to’s” and just read.

When The Tot woke up she was a Happy Girl and we played while listening to the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack until The Daddy came home.  Unfortunately, The Daddy couldn’t take our afternoon walk with us because The Dog needed to go to the vet.  So The Tater Tot and I ventured out into the chilly afternoon by ourselves all bundled up.  She looked so cute in her big, thick pink hooded sweater! 

The rest of the day went right on schedule.  All one and a half hours of it!  There is something to be said for expecting the unexpected and rolling with the punches.  I don’t know what there is to be said about it but there’s something.  But it turned out to be a pretty good day.

Well, we made it home in one piece and we’re back to our regular routine.  It’s always fun to go visit Grandma and Grandpa but it’s always nice to get home, too.  Little ones need to know what to expect and sometimes Mommies need the routines, too.   The Tot fell asleep while drinking her bedtime bottle tonight.  She’s a tired little girl.  It turns out that The Mommy is a tired big girl, too.  Early to bed tonight.  No bedtime bottle for The Mommy.  But I did have a nice glass of wine.

I love this time of year when it gets a little cooler and the lights go up on houses.  Cards and packages arrive in the mail.  It’s just cozy.  When we got home this morning, The Daddy had a fire in the fire place and it was just so nice to return to.  Makes me feel like grabbing a mug of hot chocolate and sitting by the fire.  Maybe read a book tonight instead of staring endlessly at the computer screen.  That’s a good idea.  Type at you all tomorrow.

The Tater Tot and I are on a road trip to Grandma and Grandpa’s house this weekend.  As I was driving the two hours to get here, it occurred to me that my whole life could change in the blink of an eye.  One intentionally reckless or inattentive driver, road hazard, etc. could change everything.  As I realized this I also realized that there are millions of parents driving around in denial on purpose.  Personally, if I let myself indulge in the realization of all of the potential hazards in our lives, I would never leave the house.  I would be completely lost without The Tot and if anything happened to her, God forbid, I don’t know what I would do.  So I strap her in her car seat, pay close attention to everything around me, and go on in denial that anything will happen to us.  It’s just easier that way.  Otherwise I would be paralyzed with fear and that’s no way to go through life (or raise a Tot!).

On to more uplifting topics.  We went to visit a friend of The Mommy’s today that lives near Grandma and Grandpa and The Tater Tot got to meet her two kids!  It was a short visit but we had fun!  It was nice for her to be around other kids… gotta do that more often.

Sometimes I think I live in the Hot Mommy Capital of the Universe.  It seems that every time I turn around, there is another Hot Mommy in bare-all exercise clothing running with kids in tow.  Or they are impeccably dressed in the latest young, hip fashion trend.  And I wonder “Who are these people?”  Now, I mean no offense to those Hot Mommies out there, I just would like to know their secret.  You see, I am about 10-15 pounds, a hair appointment, and a whole lotta sleep away from Hot Mommy status at any given time and I’d like to know how they do it.

So, if you are a Hot Mommy, please email me at themommy@amommyslife.com and tell me that you have, in fact, sold your soul to the Devil so that I can feel better.  Oh, there’s The Daddy back from the store with the ice cream.  Gotta go…

Today I needed Tater Tot to be low-maintenance.  Luckily for me, she was an absolute angel!  Last night was one of those nights when I had a hard time falling asleep, woke up at 2 am and could not get back to sleep.  So I got up.  And organized all of our photos.  I’d been meaning to do it anyway.  Why not at 2:30 am on only 5 hours of sleep?

I told myself “Self, you will nap when she naps today because you are going to be very tired.”  As luck has it, Princess Tater Tot went down for her first nap without a hitch.  Hooray! I took the time to shower and get ready for the day, thinking “I’ll lay down after I get dressed and ready.”  Nope.  Didn’t happen.  I thought “Tater Tot needs a bath today.  I’ll just get that stuff ready before I lay down.”  Then I thought “I should pick up the downstairs before I lay down” and went to do that.  You get the picture.  Before long, the Tot’s nap was over and The Mommy had NOT napped.  So we bathed, played, ate, laughed and grocery shopped.  All without a fuss. 

I noticed sleepy eyes and The Tot busted out with a yawn so I high-tailed it into her room and slapped on the “sleepytime song”.  Out like a light before the song was over.  Hooray!  “I’ll just wrap this Christmas present before I lay down”, “I should clean up this scrapbooking stuff before I lay down”, “There’s a load of laundry that needs to be put away before I lay down.”  And The Tot’s second nap was over before The Mommy took a nap.

When Tater woke up from Second Nap, she was in a good mood and played “Jungle Gym Mommy” on the floor for a while until The Daddy got home.  Then the evening routine began in full swing.  Hooray!  Only a little more time before I get some time to myself.  We ate, read, changed into jammies and rocked.  Whew!  Another day “put to bed”.  I thought “I’ll watch a little bit of a movie before I go to bed early”.  Nope. Didn’t happen.  Instead I followed that thought with “I should clean up these dishes before I watch the movie” and ”I should post to my blog before I watch the movie”.  What time is it?  Oh, it’s not “early” anymore.  I should go…NO!  I’m going to bed.

No, I don’t mean those times when I eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s at one sitting or when I buy that extra pair of shoes that I know I shouldn’t because they look soooo similar to the ones I already have in my closet.  I’m talking about laughing when I’m trying to rock The Tot to sleep.  She does the funniest things when she’s tired and fighting sleep.

Today when I turned on the music and started rocking her she immediately started with “hnnnnnn”, “hnnnnnn”, “dadadadada” and kicking her legs.  She usually will then progress to gnawing on The Mommy’s shoulder or, more painfully, the collarbone (ouch!).  If there is any paraphernalia or decoration attached to or hanging off of my person, she then will find it, pick it up and hold it directly in front of my face with an expression that says ”Mommy!  Look what I found!”.  Then it goes in her mouth.  Take it out.  Stare at it.  Hold it really, really close to Mommy’s face again.  Put it in the mouth again.  Bury head in Mommy’s chest then look up reaaaaal slow with big, wide eyes and a huge grin as if to say ”Are you sure you want to put me to sleep now when I’m so cute?”  All the while I am attempting to sing the lovely tune that is coming out of our CD player.  It’s a nice song.  Jack Johnson.  I like it.  I like to sing it.  But sometimes I am reduced to just holding her and shaking because I am laughing so hard.  She knows she has me and she starts to laugh, too.  Not good in terms of getting her to sleep but worth it in terms of the warm fuzzies…

I am having a crisis of style.  I’d like to think that before Tater came along I had at least a modicum of style.  Always clean and well put together.  Not terribly trendy but stylish nonetheless.  It is painfully obvious that this is not the case any more.  I have what I affectionately refer to as the “Momiform” or the Mom Uniform.  It does not involve “Mom Jeans”, thankfully, but that fact does not excuse it from the Fashion Police 10 Most Wanted.

Every day I wear relatively low-rise jeans or tan pants, a white t-shirt and white tennis shoes.  Okay, so some days I wear a blue t-shirt or a tank top and when it’s cold I wear a sweater but you get the idea.  Anything that even remotely looks like it won’t withstand the spit-up-fest that is our daily routine just doesn’t find it’s way into the rotation.  Gone are cute blouses in materials other than cotton, heels that are higher than–well–my tennis shoes, and any sort of jewelry other than my wedding ring.  And please just forget about a hairstyle.  If it’s not in a ponytail, Tater has it in her mouth or hands (ouch!). 

I keep telling myself that I’ll be stylish again when she’s a little older but what if it’s too late?  What if The Mommy is completely unsalvageable by then?  I guess I have two choices: 1) to go on faith that some day I’ll get back to some resemblance of style or 2) in the immortal words of Tim Gunn “make it work” and find the time to coordinate more than jeans and a t-shirt on a daily basis.  First I’ve got to have more than jeans and t-shirts to coordinate… 

While I was running my errands this morning sans Tot I decided to listen to the local Youth Angst radio station rather than my usual NPR.  You know the type of station: music for and about freedom, youthful introspection, and existential crisis.  This type of station is something that I would have usually listened to before the Tot but I’ve kind of fallen into always listening to NPR while running around since the Tot was born.  Maybe I’ve just been too tired or lazy to change the station…

One of those idealistic, pining, us-against-the-world love songs came on and it took me back to a time when I would have been able to “lay here with me and forget the world”.  Then I thought that there is really something to not having the luxury of taking the time and energy to have an existential crisis.  There’s something very grounding about being The Mommy and knowing that I have to keep it all together because I have a Tot depending on me.  Being The Mommy doesn’t mean that I don’t ever doubt myself or do stupid things.  In fact, I’m sure it’s entirely possible that being The Mommy brings on this type of crisis for some Mommies.  But for this Mommy, for the time being, it gives life a definite purpose and stability that can’t be found in anything else I would ever do.  And I am grateful for that.

Dadaism: A European literary and artistic movement that flouted conventional values in works marked by nonsense and incongruity.

The Tater Tot has begun her own brand of Dadaism (or more accurately “Dadadadadaism”) and it too is marked by nonsense and incongruity!  The other day we were at the physical therapy appointment heating The Mommy’s bum shoulder when all of the sudden, out of the blue, The Tot busts out with “dadadadada” for the first time ever.  After 9 months of “eh eh eh”, “aaaaaah”, “mmmmmm”, “nnnnnnn”, and high-pitched shrieks she is finally doing what The Mommy (and more so The Daddy) has been waiting for!  She has always been alert and animated but it is as if she has finally woken up. It is absolutely the cutest thing!  Until the next absolutely cutest thing she does…

Most of you Mommies have had this experience but, until recently, I had not had such extensive experience with it as I have had lately.  I call it the Diaper Dance.  It starts with The Tot being laid down on the changing table at which time the wailing begins.  Tigger or Mr. Duckie is quickly employed to curb the dissatisfaction.  This works about 30% of the time.  Whether or not it works, the next step: actually taking the diaper off, usually prompts another round of protest.  Then cue the squirming and kicking.  If there is “pooky” involved, God help us.  It is then imperative that The Mommy work with the speed of a NASCAR pit crew to get the little bottom cleaned and the new diaper in place.  Unfortunately, sometimes The Mommy is slightly off her game and The Tot has managed to turn over onto her stomach before the new diaper can be installed.  The Mommy then has to get creative and employ her flexibility, literally and figuratively.  There have been songs sung, dances done, and upside-down/backwards/standing up/sitting down/over-the-shoulder/around-the-back diaper installations.  And lots and lots of laughter.  And, yes, this happens not only at home but also in public.  Most recently at our pediatrician’s office.  Add crinkly examination table paper to The Diaper Dance and I laughed so hard I cried!