Home

The Good:

1) The word “snark”.  It’s currently one of my favorites.  It’s just so much fun!  How can you not like a combination word like that (snide + remark = snark)?  With alternate definitions of ”sarcastic” and ”irritable” at this point in my detox, although I am feeling better, there is still a bit of snark left in me.

2) The word heinous: adj. Grossly wicked or abominable.  Another one of my current favorites.  Can be used to describe diapers, spit up, headaches or any other bodily twinges, or just about any other wrong that has been inflicted on you by any person or thing.  Very versatile.

3) Massaging heating pads.  Okay, technically vibrating heating pads but who’s checking?  The package says “massaging” so that’s what I’m stickin’ with.  This is a little slice of heaven on my lower back!  If you currently don’t have one, I highly recommend it.  Warning: You will fall asleep so get one with an automatic shut-off so you don’t hurt yourself, burn down the house, etc.  That would just be stupid.

3) Babies who fall asleep quickly at bedtime.  I don’t think I need to elaborate on that one.

The Bad:

1) My vacuum cleaner is broken and has been for an embarrassingly long time.  I thought it needed a new filter that I couldn’t find until the other day (um, you’re a vacuum cleaner store.  What do you mean you’ll have to order a filter?).  But it doesn’t.  Crap.

2) My back hurts!  I’m old.  Wah!

The Ugly

1) The Dog needed semi-emergency surgery last night for a cyst that was draining all over our carpet and that she wouldn’t stop gnawing at.  Yes, I know it’s disgusting but that’s why it’s in the “Ugly” section.  She came home today and her after-care isn’t too gross although her stitches are pretty heinous (see I told you it was versatile).  I’m a wimp.  Yes, I do wonder how I’ll make it through the medical side of motherhood.  And, yes I was a big baby about the episiotomy healing.  Oh well, I’m sure I’ll just suck it up and do what I gotta do like I always do because that’s a mommy’s life.