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Well, it is day 12 of the New Year’s Resolution that I don’t even remember why I’ve made anymore and I have not yet caved.  Whoda’ thunk it was possible?  Oh yeah, now I remember that I’m doing it because I want to feel better and get in better shape so I can keep up with Princess Tater Tot!  So far it’s working pretty well.  But I can feel that I am starting to sabotage myself.  For the past couple of nights I have consciously stayed up too late on the computer or reading or watching mindless TV and have gotten to bed too late.  It’s MUCH harder to deal with life on a daily basis when you are not getting enough sleep.  And I’m not.  Getting.  Enough.  Sleep. 

Another way that I am sabotaging myself is to make lists.  “What’s wrong with making lists?” you ask.  Nothing.  In theory.  But my lists end up looking like Santa’s big ‘ol long list ‘o kids to deliver toys to.  Pages and pages and pages of things that I’d like to do.  I finally had to say to myself this morning “Um, Self, this list is waaaay too long.  You need to seriously edit this sucker and just take your kid to the park today!”  Especially with my new-found desire to slow down and simplify.  As Dr. Phil would say “How’s that workin’ for ya’?”  Uh, not very well.  Although yesterday during Princess Tater Tot’s second nap I did light a log, snuggle under “the cozy” (the warmest, best blanket in the universe) and read a book the entire time.  That is an accomplishment in and of itself for me!  Of course with the gloomy weather, fire in the fireplace, snuggling in the cozy, it really made me crave a nice glass of wine…  I settled for a cup of decaf with cream and Splenda.  Not quite the same.  Actually, not even close but I am committed to at least 31 days of this torture.  Oh, I didn’t tell you guys, did I?  This is only a 31 day resolution.  No, I’m not making excuses so that I can have sugar, caffeine and alcohol after January is over…honest!  You can even ask The Daddy!  It’s basically just a jump start since every day had become a “cheat day” and I realized that I was eating in an unhealthy way.  A sugar and stimulant detox of sorts.

But I digress.  It turns out that, if you combine lack of sleep with long lists of necessary and unnecessary tasks to do, you have a recipe for “comfort eating”.  I have edited my list of things I’d like to get done today to include very little.  The house is relatively clean, I know what I’m going to make for dinner tonight, and other than cleaning, feeding and dressing both myself and the Princess, I’ll only have a very few things left to do.  Guess I’d better go get started on those things while she’s still napping…