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Today The Mommy took Princess Tater Tot to get her picture taken for her first birthday.  Lord Almighty was it an ordeal!  We were late because….oh hell, I don’t know why we were late!  It just seems to be a perpetual state with us since Tater was born.  We got there and I think Tater sensed that I was stressed out about being late because she cried almost the whole time.  So The Mommy got to have her wrinkly old face in most of the pictures so The Tot would stop crying.  We got a couple of good shots and The Mommy dropped a wad of money that we don’t yet have (tax return, maybe??) to commemorate The Tot’s first birthday.  They were supposed to be ready in about an hour but it ended up being more like two hours.  Add in travel time and the fact that The Tot has been a Fussybutt lately due to teething, and you have One Tired Mommy!  Exhausted, in fact.

I was actually quite underwhelmed with the whole experience and unimpressed with the skills of the photographer but I’ve decided to just let it go.  What else can I do about it now?  I’ve learned alot about what not to do when going to get The Tot’s picture taken.  Do not go alone without backup entertainment for The Tot.  You must bring at least one other person to tap dance when you tucker out.  This person can also serve as the reality check when you are about to order that 10th sheet of wallet sized photos of your child.  Just how many people DO need wallet sized photos of her, exactly?  Uh, I think the other gazillion wallet sized photos will cover family and friends, thank you very much.  Do not expect that you will only buy one or two sheets of photos.  Expect to drop the equivalent of the budget of your state in any given month, especially on the first birthday!  Do not say to yourself “Self, you’ll be leaving soon so you don’t need to eat lunch here at the mall.  You can wait until you get home.” (because you inevitably will NOT be leaving soon).  At least bring a snack, woman!  What the hell?  Just go to McD’s like everyone else! Do not assume that the photos will actually be done within an hour.  If you can, take The Tot home during that time and drop her off with The Daddy (or the back up entertainment person who came with you) instead of going to the indoor play area and using your precious energy hoisting her up onto all of the neat play equipment.  (I have mixed feelings about that last one…she seemed to have a great time but until she can walk, it’s a heckuvalot of work for The Mommy on an already very long day!). And whatever you do, when you get home, do NOT decide to stay awake during her nap time to watch stupid TV instead of napping yourself!

These are the things I have learned today.  Yes, some of them are “Duh” in their simplicity but, what can I say?  Sometimes this Mommy is kind of “Duh” in her simplicity.