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I decided to clear out my closet even though it’s May 31st instead of June 1st. If it doesn’t fit today, it’s not going to fit tomorrow. And Tater Tot decided to take a morning nap today so I took advantage of that time. Wow, I got rid of a ton of stuff! I wasn’t as ruthless as I probably should have been but I got rid of more than I thought I really would. I tend to be a softie about these kinds of things thinking, “But what if I need a purple ______ some day down the road?” or that everybody needs at least 5 white tops (???). Not today. And if it “fit” but I didn’t feel good in it….GONE! Just because I “need” a pair of khaki cropped pants doesn’t mean I “need” to keep a pair that fit but make me look like Mushroom Butt!

The really interesting thing is what I didn’t get rid of. The things that I thought I was saving so that I could fit into them didn’t end up being as fantastic as I remembered them, even if they would have fit properly. And the things I thought wouldn’t fit and that I’d have to get rid of ended up looking pretty darned good! So I came up with some new outfits and realized that I have clothes that fit me and are appropriate for just about any occasion. Imagine that! I even tackled the swimsuit department and gave away a bunch. Now I have three good suits that I feel reasonably good in. The only things I have left, and they don’t really count in terms of “fit”, are the handbags, hats and gloves. I even went through my shoes, belts and scarves already!

I have to tell you that it feels really good to get rid of all that stuff and to realize that I have clothes that fit and look good even though I’m not at the weight I “want” to be at. Now I’m off to Goodwill so all my stuff can find a home with someone else!

So it’s becoming obvious that The Tot does not like swim class as much as I had hoped she would. I’m not sure if it’s because of the weather (high 60’s) or just not liking the occasional water in the nose that happens with the splashing and kicking and, well, swimming. She does have moments where she is happy and giggly and enjoying herself but there are many more moments where she is fussing and whining and “what the heck, Mommy?!” She usually likes the songs that we sing and the actions that we do with the songs but today she wasn’t even sold on those. Makes things so much harder for both of us when she’s not enjoying herself.

This brings me to a decision. She is signed up for two more sessions during the summer. I’m not sure I want to put her (and me!) through this all the way through July! I very much want her to love the water since The Daddy and I both surf and I want her to be “water-proofed”. Our lifestyle just demands it, I think. However, I also want to be sensitive to who this child is/will be. If she is not going to be a water-girl, then I need to respect that. Now, I think it’s waaaaay too early to know if she will eventually take to the water and love it like The Daddy and I do but I don’t want to force something on her that she is not ready for or doesn’t like yet at this point. It just feels crappy to feel like you’re subjecting your child (and everyone else in the pool) to a heinous experience.

So I will talk with The Daddy about it and see what we want to do. Tater Tot can be so happy-go-lucky and I very much like to see her that way. Not whiny and fussy and unhappy. There are many other ways for her to learn about frustration as a part of life without me doing it intentionally…

Oh, hallelujah I am connected again! For the past two weeks I have not been able to figure out how to get my new computer and my old printer to communicate. The software I had did not list Windows Vista as a compatible operating system since it is more than a year old and I couldn’t seem to download the software from the internet. Days would go by with no progress on the problem because I couldn’t muster the energy to tackle the problem. Sometimes these things get put on the back burner if they end up not being “easy”. I did go to the printer manufacturer’s web site and attempt to download new software but it didn’t work (I think I did it wrong). So I emailed customer support and (imagine this) they responded with an answer that worked! I was able to install the required software and get all those cute pics of Tater Tot off of my camera’s CF card! Wahoo! Now to send them all to the family and friends…

Tater Tot went to her first baseball game this weekend. She enjoyed it much more than The Mommy and The Daddy did. We had the super-smart (*sarcasm*) idea to sit on the grassy hill behind Center Field instead of sitting at our actual seats since The Tot is so mobile now and thought that it would be a nice, relaxing way to spend an afternoon. Huh. Not so much.

We did manage to avoid too much stress getting out the door, agreeing that there would be no schedule or agenda. Just a whole lotta “go with the flow”. Who cares if we get there on time because we’re probably not going to stay all that long. The tickets were free since someone graciously gave them to us and The Tater Tot’s attention span is about that of an ice cube these days. Typical Toddler. We arrived about 10 minutes after the game started and found our way to “The Grassy Knoll”. So had every parent with three kids within a 50 mile radius, apparently. I don’t know what we thought it would be like out there but we obviously had a generous portion of naivete when we envisioned our afternoon. So The Mommy watches The Tot while The Daddy takes a bathroom break and then we do the trade-off so The Mommy can whiz and get some lunch. Stuff a hot dog down the gullet in record time so The Daddy can go get some dogs and a beverage. Run around after The Tot, down steep embankments, over other people’s blankets, onto the very warm concrete (she was barefoot), over to other people’s snacks. “No you can’t have those, they’re not yours.” “WAAAAHHHH.” “Let’s go over here instead.” “Wheeeee” down another steep embankment with tennis balls whizzing by our heads, being thrown by rambunctious, oblivious children. Mommy’s going to have a nervous breakdown trying to keep Tater Tot from hurting or being hurt!

Finally The Daddy gets back with his lunch and we mooch french fries for a bit. The Mommy’s feeling guilty for letting Tater Tot have little bites of fries so we gotta bust out the Whole Grain Goldfish Crackers instead. The best idea we had all day then occurred to us: let’s go spread the blanket under that tree over there and feed her crackers so she’ll stay still! You know, that tree over there under which you can see no part of the baseball game! Yeah, that one. Whew. It’s nice to just sit for a bit. Score? Who knows.

The Tot sat and ate crackers and took in her surroundings for about another 20 minutes. Then we decided to cut our losses and head out. I’d like to say we made it through more than three innings but I just don’t know. Seriously. No idea what inning it was or who was ahead. Saw maybe one play the whole game. But Tater Tot had a great time running around and looked super-cute in her pink home team outfit. The Daddy and I both were glad that we at least tried. But I don’t think we’ll be doing that again any time soon.

Although I could write about how even having a toddler is a workout in itself, today I’m going to tell you about my toddler’s workout. After our morning walk I decided to try to get in a short weight workout since she seems to like our garage a whole lot lately. Why, I don’t know. But it is what it is so I thought I’d make the best of it.

While I bicep curled, shoulder pressed and chest pressed, Tater Tot carried shoes from the storage shelves to the washing machine and back. Lunges for me meant Baby Squats for her, bending up and down and grinning at her Mommy. During my situps, she carried bottles of water from the storage shelves to the other side of the garage (or anywhere inbetween). And Pushup Time for me was Push The Stroller Time for her. The whole while she chanted “Dun, Geh, Muh” and other such sounds mimicking my counting of reps. Other random exercises that she threw in there included Pound the Washing Machine, Throw The Shoes, and Walk As Fast As You Can To The Places In The Garage The Mommy Doesn’t Want You To Go. For the most part, though, she was enthralled with The Workout and watching Mommy workout so that was a bonus for both of us! I’m gonna do that more often.

I feel very strongly about letting The Tater Tot be who she is as she is growing up. Of course I am responsible for teaching her manners, etc. but generally I want to allow her to be herself regardless of how embarrassing that might be personally to me. I’m sure this theory will be tested and might morph into a little bit different-looking theory over time but this is where I’m starting out!

As it happens, The Tot has an intense dislike of public changing tables such as the one found at her swim class. She is fine getting into the pool, enjoys the songs and games during the class once she acclimates to the water and loves to walk up and down the area by the bleachers before and after class. But changing after class is a completely different story. As soon as we walk into the large stall containing the changing table, she begins to cry. This develops into a full-on scream as soon as I lay her on the table. No amount of “The Wheels On The Bus Go Quack, Quack, Quack” or whatever other sound I can come up with on the fly will calm her down like it usually does. I am that Mommy that everyone is cursing whose child has disrupted their otherwise enjoyable time at the swimming pool. I could be embarrassed about that fact but I’m just not gonna be. I may decide to find a different way to do things so that it’s not so hard on Tater Tot but I am not doing it out of regard for myself.

I’ll tell you I have developed a whole new regard for women who allow their children to throw fits in the grocery store or anywhere else without turning into a threat-hissing, arm-grabbing, “behave-this-minute-or-else” Mommy. Don’t get me wrong, I can completely understand how women turn into that kind of Mommy. I’m just saying that I now, as a Mommy myself, have a new respect for women who calmly and with their heads held high, deal with or ignore their toddler’s tantrum. Yes, it is annoying to those around them, me included. But, let’s face it, most of these women do not deserve our scorn and derision. They deserve our understanding. There are several ways to deal with a toddler’s tantrum but, in whatever way you are attempting to deal with it, it is never easy. And toddlers always have what is, in their minds, a good reason to engage in said tantrum. Before I was the Mommy of a toddler, I had absolutely no understanding of this and, of course, thought that the Mommy in question could deal with things better. Boy, was I wrong and I happily admit it!

Tater Tot is exhibiting her Toddlerhood in several wonderfully frustrating ways these days. The first is the Toothbrushing Boycott. She has fought valiantly to avoid brushing those beautiful little teeth of hers for quite a while now, even mostly resisting the charms of her new “Deh-Duh” (Dora) toothbrush. But she’s starting to come around the past few days (after only months of struggle!) and I’m so grateful! Another of the ways is the Diaper-Changing Kick-A-Thon. Just about every diaper change these days includes a kick-a-thon worthy of an audition for the Rockettes. The “Diaper Dance” song from Baby Signing Time! Volume 1 DVD sometimes helps but not always! Yet another wonderful way that Tater Tot flexes her Toddler Muscles is the Exorcist-type head turning she accomplishes when I try to wash/wipe her face so that she won’t be wearing two-days’ worth of meals out in public. She’s perfectly happy to save a snack for later even if it is the leftovers that are stuck to her face. The last and probably most definitive way that Tater Tot is frustrating the crap out of me is the fit that she throws if/when I stop her from walking. “Why would you stop her from walking?” you ask. Well, the other day she walked for a half hour straight. At the least! Back and forth and back and forth and trip and fall and back and forth. She was exhausted (as evidenced by the increase in the trips and falls and crankiness) but would not, could not stop walking to save her little life! So I thought it was time for Snack Time and a little rest. Not according to Tater Tot! Much flailing and crying ensued. Thank God for Goldfish Crackers. There are other times, such as time to leave the swim class, that she throws equally fantastic fits when I have to stop her from walking and I don’t have any Goldfish Crackers to ease the blow. Hmmm….maybe I need to carry Goldfish Crackers everywhere I go. Food as bribery? Some days I’m not above it!

Although these things can be irritating, they are minor and they are part and parcel of the Toddler Experience. They keep me on my toes and help me to think of creative ways for her to maintain her independence while still doing at least some of what I want. When I come up with those creative ways, I’ll let you know because I’m still thinking!

Well, we didn’t find any smokin’ deals at garage sales this weekend but we did get The Daddy to go do some garage sale drive-bys with us. Minor miracle. As I’ve said before, we don’t shop well together. Not even garage sales. We just barely lost out on a Little Tykes/Fisher Price-type kids picnic table…a minute or two too late. Oh well. There’s always next weekend.

We did, however manage to make our house look like a bumper car track this weekend. Since The Tater Tot seems to act like a bumper car lately, we felt the need to pad the things she is most likely to conk her noggin on. Instead of spending a fortune on the specially-made baby-proofing padding that costs a kazillion dollars and doesn’t stick very well (at least the ones I bought don’t), The Daddy went to the hardware store and bought self-sealing pipe insulation. It’s not pretty but it works! When you pull it off, the adhesive should roll right off with a minor amount of elbow grease. At least it did on our furniture. I can’t vouch for yours, though. It’s super-easy to “install” and easy to cut to fit. Again, if you’re planning on maintaining a lovely and elegant home, this is not the option for you. Our house is quite lovely but we have made it “sturdy” and “unbreakable” for the most part for the next couple of years or so. I keep it nice and tidy but we’ve given up expecting it to be “presentable” for company. We’ve got a small child with many, many toys who likes to run into/fall over onto/trip over/conk her head on anything in her path so we do the best we can!

We also started attaching furniture that is not entirely stable to the wall. Tater Tot will start climbing soon, I have no doubt, and we want to be ready for that. She is a creative little booger and I know that I can’t even imagine all of the scenarios she will get herself into but I’m going to try! The next thing on the list is getting all those cabinet latches on. I’ve secured the ones with knobs but most of the cabinets in our house don’t have them. It seems odd to me that I’m just now “baby-proofing” but Tater Tot hasn’t shown any interest in getting into the cabinets yet. I’m also usually just a step behind her making sure she doesn’t get into anything. But I’m sure that there will be a time soon when she gets away from me for a minute or two maybe while I’m distracted talking to The Grandma on the phone and I want to make sure there’s nothing she can get into.

Every single day I feel grateful to be her Mommy. Don’t get me wrong, she can be a handful and I’m really fond of her naptime! But something happens every day that just makes me melt. Today there were a few things. She signed “eat” spontaneously for the first time. We were just sitting in my closet (it’s a walk-in closet) and she signed “eat”. So I made a huge deal about going downstairs to have a snack of Whole Grain Goldfish Crackers (the most addictive substance known to toddlers, I think) because she signed “eat”. She was in heaven and I was so proud! Then there is the “Let’s Get Mommy” game she and I have started playing. I run away from her and she chases me giggling hysterically with her arms out. I always “fall” and she comes and gives me a hug. *Melt* I love baby hugs! Then there are the funny noises she always makes. I swear I can’t even describe them but they are hilarious! I am always exhausted at the end of the day but I am also happy to see her beautiful little face again every morning. Ah, Mommyhood.

It’s Saturday and I always look forward to Saturdays because it’s Garage Sale Walk Day! During the Spring and Summer on any given weekend in our neighborhood, there are bound to be several garage sales. So, Tater Tot and I have been following the garage sale signs and seeing what we can find. Last weekend I found a Fisher-Price tot table for $10 but I couldn’t figure out where I’d put it and it’s a teeny bit too old for her yet so I passed on it. Probably shouldn’t have but my new rule is that I have to know where I’m going to put it before I buy it. That should keep me from too much impulse buying. The other rule I have is that it can’t be too much of a project. I’m all for seeing the potential in items that need a little TLC but if I’m going to need to invest too much time and energy, it can’t come home with me.

I just finished reading Garage Sale America by Bruce Littlefield and I feel more ready than ever to go get me a bargain! Bruce takes his reader on a trip across the country to tour the best garage, tag, estate and barn sales in the good ‘ol US of A. Along the way, he provides priceless garage sale hosting and buying tips and techniques in a fun and entertaining way. From garage sale ettiquette to the history and value of specific collector’s items, Bruce imparts his lifetime of Garage Sale Wisdom. He even includes ideas for how to incorporate your garage sale finds into your home decor! Very important for those of you that tend to come home with stuff that you’re not quite sure what to do with but just couldn’t pass up.

This is an easy, fun read that is engaging, entertaining and educational! It may just inspire you to find the “treasure” in someone else’s “trash”.

Mommy Tip: Garage saling is a great way to find really inexpensive baby/kid stuff. Lots of garage salers just want to get it out of their garage and give it a good home with someone else. Giving it a good hosing/scrubbing before use goes without saying. But I just said it. Huh. Guess I’m the Mistress of the Obvious.

Happy Garage Saling!

The Dog is back home and resting relatively comfortably. Yay! It’s really good to have her back. She seems to be responding to the antibiotics and other meds they have her on so we’re just going to see how she does for the next couple of days without subjecting her to any more diagnostics. If she stops responding or gets worse, then we’ll continue trying to figure out what the heck is wrong. We’re not out of the woods but I’m just glad she’s here with us right now.

I’ve had this computer for a week and I’ve gotta say I still feel grateful that I can turn it on and be connected to the internet within less than two minutes. My old computer takes no less than 15 minutes to boot up and be ready for internet use. Or any other use for that matter. So doing something “real quick” on the computer just can’t happen. “Oh I’ll just go mapquest that ‘real quick’”. Nope, ain’t gonna happen. You’re going to be late. “Let me just check my bank balance ‘real quick’ before I go grocery shopping.” Uh-uh. Not a chance. I used to just turn the computer on and go do something else (a mani-pedi, make and eat breakfast, clean the bathroom, jog a few miles) until it was ready for use. It’s the little things in life that please me!

In other random thoughts, Tater Tot spontaneously did her version of the sign for “Mommy” yesterday! Of course her version of the sign is to smack the side of her mouth with an open hand. Hmmm….kind of funny. I’ve said before that it’s like a switch has turned on in her brain and she’s paying more attention but it’s also had an effect on me. I’m more motivated to start using more signs with her because she’s more interested in them. So it’s off to the ASL browser to find more signs to use!

I started this post titling it “Let Your Freak Flag Fly” but after reading this blog I have realized that I have no life. There are people who go to Ladies Rock Camp and learn how to play the guitar from scratch while at said camp. And then perform there! Uh, I don’t. I do the same thing every day. I don’t have “girls weekends” without Tater Tot or The Daddy. Heck, The Daddy and I don’t really go out together, even. I think we’ve got out without The Tot three times since she was born. Three times. That’s not a lot. I surf occasionally. I try to make it to Mommy Group events. That’s about it. Real glamorous. But that’s just how I roll.

Anyway, back to the original intent of this post. I know that I have been letting my Freak Flag fly a little lately (and not in a good way) and I have decided to embrace my Inner Nutcase. She is a very small part of me but she’s been getting more air time lately, for what reason I don’t know. I think I have pretty typical insecurities and self-doubts about motherhood and most days they just lurk in the background. Sometimes they come out in humorous little blog posts. Other times they feature in posts that look more like journal entries. That’s been the case lately. I think I had misplaced my sense of humor. Good news, though. I found it today. I won’t go into details but let’s just say I had a good opportunity to laugh at myself today and I took it. It felt really good.

The blog I linked to above has a quote from Drew Barrymore in one of her posts that I really liked:
“Let your freak-flag fly, and if someone doesn’t get you, move on.”

So here’s to being who you really are.