I Have No Life
I started this post titling it “Let Your Freak Flag Fly” but after reading this blog I have realized that I have no life. There are people who go to Ladies Rock Camp and learn how to play the guitar from scratch while at said camp. And then perform there! Uh, I don’t. I do the same thing every day. I don’t have “girls weekends” without Tater Tot or The Daddy. Heck, The Daddy and I don’t really go out together, even. I think we’ve got out without The Tot three times since she was born. Three times. That’s not a lot. I surf occasionally. I try to make it to Mommy Group events. That’s about it. Real glamorous. But that’s just how I roll.
Anyway, back to the original intent of this post. I know that I have been letting my Freak Flag fly a little lately (and not in a good way) and I have decided to embrace my Inner Nutcase. She is a very small part of me but she’s been getting more air time lately, for what reason I don’t know. I think I have pretty typical insecurities and self-doubts about motherhood and most days they just lurk in the background. Sometimes they come out in humorous little blog posts. Other times they feature in posts that look more like journal entries. That’s been the case lately. I think I had misplaced my sense of humor. Good news, though. I found it today. I won’t go into details but let’s just say I had a good opportunity to laugh at myself today and I took it. It felt really good.
The blog I linked to above has a quote from Drew Barrymore in one of her posts that I really liked:
“Let your freak-flag fly, and if someone doesn’t get you, move on.”
So here’s to being who you really are.
May 20th, 2007 at 3:59 pm
I would say that instead of “inner nutcase,” you’re just being you…the “real” you. As I wrote in one post, going to Ladies Rock Camp was the very first time I’d ever been on vacation on my own since I’d had kids. It took five years for it to happen, but it was worth the wait. It made me realize I needed to be more of “me” in everything I do. Cheers to you for letting your freak fly. I wish more people did!
May 21st, 2007 at 6:35 pm
Thanks! I don’t think I know any other way to do it.
I think I labeled it my “Inner Nutcase” because I really don’t like being as neurotic as I am. I wish I were more laid-back but I’m just not. It’s a fact. So, it is what it is and I’m makin’ the best of it!
Re: not going on vacation for 5 years since the kids were born…I’ve kind of made my peace with the fact that I’m not going to be doing much like that until The Tater Tot is older, too. I’m looking forward to the time when I feel comfortable indulging myself more but for now she needs me more than I need the indulging. So instead I just take it in bits and pieces when I can. Maybe I’ll look forward to taking an all women’s surf trip in couple more years…*sighs dreamily*