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I feel very strongly about letting The Tater Tot be who she is as she is growing up. Of course I am responsible for teaching her manners, etc. but generally I want to allow her to be herself regardless of how embarrassing that might be personally to me. I’m sure this theory will be tested and might morph into a little bit different-looking theory over time but this is where I’m starting out!

As it happens, The Tot has an intense dislike of public changing tables such as the one found at her swim class. She is fine getting into the pool, enjoys the songs and games during the class once she acclimates to the water and loves to walk up and down the area by the bleachers before and after class. But changing after class is a completely different story. As soon as we walk into the large stall containing the changing table, she begins to cry. This develops into a full-on scream as soon as I lay her on the table. No amount of “The Wheels On The Bus Go Quack, Quack, Quack” or whatever other sound I can come up with on the fly will calm her down like it usually does. I am that Mommy that everyone is cursing whose child has disrupted their otherwise enjoyable time at the swimming pool. I could be embarrassed about that fact but I’m just not gonna be. I may decide to find a different way to do things so that it’s not so hard on Tater Tot but I am not doing it out of regard for myself.

I’ll tell you I have developed a whole new regard for women who allow their children to throw fits in the grocery store or anywhere else without turning into a threat-hissing, arm-grabbing, “behave-this-minute-or-else” Mommy. Don’t get me wrong, I can completely understand how women turn into that kind of Mommy. I’m just saying that I now, as a Mommy myself, have a new respect for women who calmly and with their heads held high, deal with or ignore their toddler’s tantrum. Yes, it is annoying to those around them, me included. But, let’s face it, most of these women do not deserve our scorn and derision. They deserve our understanding. There are several ways to deal with a toddler’s tantrum but, in whatever way you are attempting to deal with it, it is never easy. And toddlers always have what is, in their minds, a good reason to engage in said tantrum. Before I was the Mommy of a toddler, I had absolutely no understanding of this and, of course, thought that the Mommy in question could deal with things better. Boy, was I wrong and I happily admit it!

Tater Tot is exhibiting her Toddlerhood in several wonderfully frustrating ways these days. The first is the Toothbrushing Boycott. She has fought valiantly to avoid brushing those beautiful little teeth of hers for quite a while now, even mostly resisting the charms of her new “Deh-Duh” (Dora) toothbrush. But she’s starting to come around the past few days (after only months of struggle!) and I’m so grateful! Another of the ways is the Diaper-Changing Kick-A-Thon. Just about every diaper change these days includes a kick-a-thon worthy of an audition for the Rockettes. The “Diaper Dance” song from Baby Signing Time! Volume 1 DVD sometimes helps but not always! Yet another wonderful way that Tater Tot flexes her Toddler Muscles is the Exorcist-type head turning she accomplishes when I try to wash/wipe her face so that she won’t be wearing two-days’ worth of meals out in public. She’s perfectly happy to save a snack for later even if it is the leftovers that are stuck to her face. The last and probably most definitive way that Tater Tot is frustrating the crap out of me is the fit that she throws if/when I stop her from walking. “Why would you stop her from walking?” you ask. Well, the other day she walked for a half hour straight. At the least! Back and forth and back and forth and trip and fall and back and forth. She was exhausted (as evidenced by the increase in the trips and falls and crankiness) but would not, could not stop walking to save her little life! So I thought it was time for Snack Time and a little rest. Not according to Tater Tot! Much flailing and crying ensued. Thank God for Goldfish Crackers. There are other times, such as time to leave the swim class, that she throws equally fantastic fits when I have to stop her from walking and I don’t have any Goldfish Crackers to ease the blow. Hmmm….maybe I need to carry Goldfish Crackers everywhere I go. Food as bribery? Some days I’m not above it!

Although these things can be irritating, they are minor and they are part and parcel of the Toddler Experience. They keep me on my toes and help me to think of creative ways for her to maintain her independence while still doing at least some of what I want. When I come up with those creative ways, I’ll let you know because I’m still thinking!