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Where did November go? How did it get this late without even an effort at Christmas shopping or holiday card picture taking? Last year when Tater Tot was 9 months old, I had most of my Christmas shopping done by December 1st! By this time last year I had all Christmas gift calendars and photo books done and ordered. My online purchases were well-thought out and ordered early. Stocking stuffers were purchased and wrapped by the time we ran out of leftover turkey. Not this year, my friends. This year I am officially Behind The 8 Ball. I know that many people start their Christmas shopping on the day after Thanksgiving and finish it a few days before Christmas but I have been very proud of myself in years past for getting things done ahead of time. This decreases the holiday stress and generally makes for a much happier Momma. So it looks like this year I will be practicing how not to stress out under holiday stress even more than usual.

How exactly does one remain un-stressed-out during the holiday season? I think the main things to do are to have a plan and to drop unrealistic expectations about the holiday. Start where you are, look at what you have left to do, and plan how it will get done. If things to do exceed time to do it in, cut something out! What are the things you enjoy doing? What are the things that are important to you? Keep ‘em. What are the things you are expected to do? What are the things you do because you are afraid of someone else’s reaction if you don’t do them? Toss ‘em!

Many times what people think they want for their holiday really is not what’s realistic or “real” in their lives. You are probably not going to have the time and energy to bake all those cookies you think you want to. That perfect gift is not going to make a dysfunctional relationship functional. Your finances will not magically get better during the holiday season which means that many of us will be shopping on a budget. If your family situation is not ideal, your romantic holiday-card notions of the family get-together need to be tossed out the window.

Take a look at what all these expectations mean in your life. What is it that you’re hoping to get from the holiday cookie-baking marathon? How much more stressed out will you feel if you exceed your Christmas budget egregiously and what does it mean that you feel you need to? Where else can you find what you think you want from your extended family? Can you create it within a smaller part of your family, whatever form that takes? Can you create it with close friends?

I don’t particularly enjoy cooking a holiday meal. I am not good at it and it stresses me out. So we’re ordering our holiday meal from Marie Callendar’s and I feel good about that. Now those that come to my house for Thanksgiving will actually be eating good food. I have tossed the expectation that I cook the marvelous holiday meal that people expect me to because that just isn’t realistic. Another expectation that my side of the family has tossed is that you will rack your brain to come up with the perfect gift for everyone. We email lists of ideas of things that we want. We can use them as a guideline or we can order the exact gift that the person wants. Either way, we know they’ll like it because they told us they would! To some this may seem to lack the personal touch but it works for us. We know that we love each other. We know also that we’re all busy and want to make it easy on ourselves and everyone else during the holiday season. Voila! Less stress.

So I am off to look at my lists, do some online shopping and plan my mall shopping trips to take advantage of some of the upcoming sales. Oh, and I’ve got to start my Christmas card list…

Do you have a plan?