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I’m feeling settled today. Settled and comfortable in Mommyhood and with my decisions in life. Not that all of my decisions have been the best ones but I am comfortable with how I am living them, if that makes any sense. Confident that I am doing the best that I can with what I have.

And what I have today is the cutest little girl ever to be in ponytails (yes, I know I’m biased but I’m The Mommy, I’m allowed). We went on a walk down the street to visit our friends B and Z because B just had a little baby boy! And she did it at home! I’m amazed. So we went to visit in the hopes that we could distract Z a bit so her Mommy could rest and her Daddy could rest and take care of her Mommy. It didn’t quite turn out as successful as I’d have liked (Daddy didn’t get to rest much) but I think she enjoyed having us over at least. I know Tater Tot really enjoyed being there. And as I was visiting with B and Little L, the newest addition to the family, I was very happy for her but it was nice at the same time to be very settled and content with my decision to only have one child. To not have any self-doubt about what’s best for me. I’m really very good at self-doubt, it turns out. But it was great to talk with her about her experience giving birth at home, to be amazed at her beautiful baby boy and yet not to be jealous or worry that I was not doing the right thing by only having one child. Wow, now that I type that out, it sounds like I have been very insecure and self-centered in my life. And maybe I have. But it’s nice now to recognize that I am less that way than I was before. As we were walking home at a leisurely pace with no rush and no worries, complete contentment came over me. My life is not perfect. But walking home in the sunshiny 70 degree weather, wearing shorts and flip-flops with my little girl’s ponytails flapping in the breeze, all was right in my world. And now she naps…what could be better?