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The other day we were at our weekly Mommy and Me class and, as I sat near Tater Tot watching her play, one of the little girls came up to Tater Tot and yanked a toy away from her. Her mother was right there and I heard her, very ineffectively, say “Oh, give that back. Don’t do that. Give that back to her.” This continued for at least two minutes and then, well, I guess she followed directions. She threw it in Tater Tot’s general direction. Okay. Um. No “Oh, I’m so sorry.” to me or Tater Tot. No instructions to her daughter about how we don’t snatch toys from other kids and then throw the toy back at them. No Time Out. This particular time I had decided to sit back and let the little girl’s mother handle the situation instead of stepping in and telling the girl that we don’t snatch toys from other kids because her mother was sitting right there and I expected that she would do this. I was wrong.

Fast forward to snack time. The little girl had already washed her hands and was sitting down for snack. We were standing in line waiting to wash hands. Tater Tot was standing right next to where the girl was sitting, minding her own business. I was facing the other direction. Apparently, this little girl shoved Tater Tot because another mommy told her “No, we don’t push people.” I turned around and asked what happened and was told that this same little girl pushed Tater Tot for no reason. The mother of this girl was across the room but saw everything. Didn’t say a word to her child about it. Somebody please tell me in what universe this is okay? I had seen things happen sort of out of the corner of my eye during past weeks and wasn’t 100% sure that I had seen this girl take a swipe at Taylor or push her so I hadn’t addressed it. But it is becoming very clear to me that this is an issue. She’s two years old and never talks or plays with this little girl for heaven’s sake! What’s the problem? Of course there could be sub-conscious motives like maybe this mom has a dislike for me which she allows her child to take out on mine. But I really, really hope this mom isn’t whacked like that. Please, Woman, allow me to keep my faith in humanity and don’t be whacked like that.

Up until this point I had been very comfortable with the mommies in this group and the fact that they address the behavior of their child that is a problem. Most of the women in the group are really inclusive and friendly and we all seem to get along. But in this case I can see that I am not going to be comfortable. I am going to have to either keep Tater Tot away from this girl or be right there when they do interact and address any behavioral issues myself because it’s clear to me that the mother will not. I’m not saying I am the Parenting Guru…Good Lord, no! Otherwise why would I have a category named “I’m Not Going To Win Mother of The Year”? But I do strongly feel that you don’t let your child get away without consequence when they push, hit, or snatch things away from other kids. So I will take a few deep breaths and, unfortunately, regardless of how this mommy feels about me stepping in, I will. At least to say to this child “No, we don’t….(fill in the blank) since this mom is not. I’m not going to have my child getting the message that it’s okay for people to act this way.

And, just in case you think I don’t have any empathy for this mom, I do. I have seen her struggle with her child’s tantrums and other behavior for a year. I am acutely aware that it wears on a mommy, particularly since Tater Tot is going through an “Extremely-Easily-Frustrated” phase (at least I hope it’s a phase!). I know that it’s hard. But there are some things you just don’t ignore, and shoving other kids is one of them. Maybe I can still win Mommy of the Year if I’m able to put aside my feelings and deal with this in a positive way…?? Everybody’s gotta have a dream…

I love, love, love this little person who is my daughter! She is the funniest, most frustrating, cutest and most all-encompassing person I know. I began to be concerned that, when I discipline her, she may think I don’t love her anymore so I began a game that asks “Does Mommy still love you when (fill in the blank)?” The fill-in-the-blank answers ranged from “when you don’t listen to Mommy” to “when you throw a fit” to “when you are happy” (just for a little balance) and beyond. You get the idea.

This game spawned another game called “Mommy Would Still Love You If” which consists of me making the statement “Mommy would still love you if” and filling in the blank with some random, ridiculous statement. Past statements have included “Mommy would still love you if you had no eyebrows and two belly buttons” and “Mommy would still love you if you had green hair and one eye.” Well, the other night we were doing “Rocking and Shnuggling” before bed time and out of her mouth pops “Mommy would still love you if you had three toes and no bottom!” We weren’t even playing the game! I nearly fell out of the rocking chair laughing until tears ran down my face. She was so proud of herself that she had made me laugh so hard. And I was struck by just how much she is becoming her own little person. I need to do everything that I can to foster that because she is just so precious and such a great little person. This realization really helps me to deal with the times when she is smirking at me just waiting for me to get to “three” thinking I won’t give her a time out or when she is kicking and screaming yet again for I-don’t-really-know-what-reason or when she looks at me and goes ahead doing the thing I just told her not to. This is all part of the bargain and my job is to put aside my random issues that get triggered by this behavior and help her to be the person that she’s going to become. This is Mommyhood and I really love it. Yeah, I’m a sucker for Toddler Cuteness…

The Daddy would agree with that statement for the simple reason that I actually clean my house before people come over. Vacuum, dust, sweep up the “floor food” that falls under Tater Tot’s chair. The works. Heck, I even cleaned out our coffee maker this morning just in case someone wanted a cup! My house hasn’t looked this good in months. How sad is that? And on the flip side: how normal is that? No, that’s not a rhetorical question, I really want to know! If you’ve got the answer, holler at me…

We did a cute Fall Placemat that was really pretty easy. You just cut a length of contact paper long enough that a piece of construction paper can fit between the two sides when you fold the contact paper over, put cut outs of leaves, Fall sayings (Autumn, Leaves, Harvest or whatever strikes your fancy) all over the construction paper, peel back one side of the contact paper, stick the construction paper on it, peel off the rest of the contact paper and fold it over. The biggest challenge is not getting bubbles when you fold the second side of the contact paper over.

I actually really enjoy hosting play dates. It does engage my perfectionistic tendencies, however, which isn’t the greatest (hence the cleaning of the coffee maker). But as long as I keep them under control, we’re good. Wish me luck with that…