Home

Today was the last day of our Mommy and Me class for the year and I have to say that I was surprised by my reaction. I didn’t really think about the implications of ending a class that we had been a part of for two years until, well, until I drove up to the class. Maybe last night or this morning a fleeting thought/feeling passed through that I roundly ignored. But it hit me full force as we drove up to the class that we would not be coming here with these wonderful women and their children any more. In the Fall Tater Tot will be starting preschool and the kids/Mommas will be scattering among preschools around the area. We will no longer have this built-in, once-a-week support group that we currently have. Not that we don’t all have each others’ phone numbers and email addresses. Or that we can’t/won’t set up play dates. But the “built-in-ness” and our wonderful teacher will not be there. And although I felt like a complete sap for being teary about it, it is a loss.

Last year we lost two members to another class on a different day but, for the most part, this group has been together for at least a year and a half. Most of us for a full two years. Last year there were summer play dates and the knowledge that most of us would all be together again in the Fall. But this year it is different. The kids will go to different preschools in the Fall and relationships may or may not survive. These things all factored into my teary-eyed last day but the most important and probably the best reason for being teary-eyed on a day such as this is that my little baby girl is almost a preschooler. And I am almost a Mother of a Preschooler. I have always been one be easily bored and to welcome the new so I was surprised at my reaction to my little girl growing up. Surprised that I felt so deeply today. I mean, yes, I am very proud of the progress she and I both have made because of this class but I’m still surprised at the feeling of loss that I have. I realized today that she is very soon going to be a Preschooler. Not a Toddler, but a full-fledged, potty trained (God willing!), going to school without Mommy Preschooler.

I’m not sure why but an interaction that I had today is sticking with me longer than it normally would on the eve of an ending. Today, one of the mommies suggested to several of us in a conversation that we meet the next week at the park right by our class to play. Most of us thought that was a good idea and, when the class was almost over, I asked one mommy if I would see her next week. She looked perplexed and asked “Where?”. I explained and she stated that she and the suggesting mommy were no longer getting along and that she wasn’t invited. Huh? Since last week? We didn’t really have time to explore why as the class was ending, everyone was still milling around, and Tater Tot was oh-so-ready for nap time behaviorally. So I told her that I was really very sorry that they had had a falling out and said “Goodbye” to those remaining, herding Tater Tot to the car.

Our class has not been a class in which people are excluded. It has been a comfortable place where you don’t have to wonder or worry about asking someone if they’re going to any event to which any other Mommy/Kiddo duo has been invited. And this particular couple of Mommies seems to have gotten along rather well. They did things with two other Mommies/Kiddos outside of the class and were generally known as The Four Muskateer type of group. Their kids constantly played and fought together and acted like brother and sister. Which is why this situation is so strange. What in Heaven’s name could have happened for these two to have such a violent rift within one week’s time (or less)? So much so that one mother has pulled her child from the preschool that they would attend in the Fall, I assume, because it is the same preschool that the child of the other mother is attending.

Let me preface this by saying that I HAVE NO EARTHLY IDEA WHAT HAPPENED. I cannot even pretend to know (which is, maybe, why I am so perplexed). But what I thought I knew was that these were two very reasonable and lovely women with delightful, if not spirited, children. It is beyond me what could have happened between the two but I have to wonder “Why do we do this to each other as women?”. What could have gone so seriously wrong so quickly and why can’t we just support one another in our lives? Is it that hard? Again, I don’t know what happened and it may be that it is utterly unforgivable. But I hope that it isn’t. And, for the sake of all women, I hope that we can all be a little bit more understanding of each other and make the effort to just be nice. I realize I’m probably being naive but that’s just how I feel.

I’m sure that I will, one way or another, find out what happened. While I am curious, it is not my business to dig around in. And, I have to say that, in one way I am glad this happened at an ending point rather than in the middle. We have had the experience of being comfortable in this group for a long time and it was fantastic (save one shoving incident that we worked through). And, although I now wonder if there was an undercurrent all along that I was not aware of, I think I will choose to remember this as the positive experience that I thought it was and resolve to be as supportive and understanding and forgiving as I can of women that come into my life from this point forward.

Another thing that today’s experience did for me is help me to realize that time flies by so fast. And while the day-to-day grind may be a bit much at times, these are the times I will be longing for later and remembering fondly. Before I know it, I will be writing a post titled “I’m almost the Mother of a Kindergartner!” or some such thing. And it will seem like the blink of an eye.