Home

Since late summer I have been contemplating whether or not to vaccinate Petunia against the dreaded Swine Flu. I have had plenty of time to contemplate the issue since, as it turns out, her pediatrician does not have the vaccine yet. Nor does my doctor. I have heard stories of people getting the vaccine. Even people we know. But it is nowhere near our doctor’s offices yet.

I have read things both for and against the vaccine online. Some of it downright scary. I have talked with other mothers, my mother, and friends. I have asked her pediatrician, her endocrinologist, and just about any medical professional I come in contact with their opinion. Of course they are probably biased but still. Every single one has said “I would recommend vaccinating her”. If she did not have Type 1 diabetes, it would probably have been a little bit of a harder decision to make, although it was hard enough as it was. You may have noticed that I just switched to past tense. Yes, I did vaccinate my daughter against the Swine Flu last week. And, yes, I did have reservations. But I had already weighed the information that I had gotten my hands on and made a decision when we were sitting in her endocrinologist’s office last week and he mentioned that they had gotten a shipment in that morning. Would I like to have her vaccinated? Yes, please.

It was traumatic. She doesn’t like shots. She can handle her 3-4 times daily “duckie bites” for insulin because they are expected and we have a routine around all of it. Words that she says, ways that I do things to make her more comfortable. But this? Oh no. Uh-uh. You’re not doing THIS to me today. Well, we did. But it took a while. And the nurse managed to say and do every single thing that triggers her. I’m not joking. Every word that came out of the nurses mouth was exactly the wrong word for the situation. Those words may have worked for some other kid but not mine. I tried to fix it but we eventually just had to take a stab during a window of opportunity and hope that it got where it needed to go. Nerve-wracking and reason enough to NOT give her the shot but it all (thankfully) happened pretty fast and worked out for the best.

The main reason that I did end up going ahead and getting the vaccine for her is that even the regular flu can send her blood sugar on a roller coaster. Heck, a regular day can send her blood sugar on a ride. There is too much variability in her blood sugar on a regular basis. It has been very difficult to regulate her blood sugar even with Compulsive Mommy counting every carb and scrutinizing every shot, meal, and activity. The Swine Flu would be hell for us. Particularly if it involved vomiting and/or diarrhea. Not fun in and of themselves but, worrying about and working to correct low/high blood sugars, get food to stay down, testing her urine to see if there are dangerous levels of ketones in it and getting ahold of an on-call endocrinologist while cleaning up said vomit and diarrhea? Not gonna happen if I have anything to say about it. So we vaccinated. Now all that’s left to do is cross my fingers and pray for the best.

The last time I posted, The Tot was just about to become The Preschooler. We got through it but it wasn’t pretty there for a while. There were tears from both Petunia (can’t really be calling her The Tot anymore, can I?) and Mommy. There was anxiety for both Petunia and Mommy. There was bribery. And then there was adjustment just in the nick of time. Let me share with you just exactly how I kept my sanity while Petunia wailed and while I wondered if I was doing the right thing.

The first week of school, there was an ice cream social where the kids stayed in their classrooms and the parents went to the chapel for an orientation. Petunia said that it was all very nice but “I don’t want to go back there ever again.” Nice. When asked why, it became clear that the issue was that Mommy had left her. Bolstered by the knowledge that it was “just” separation anxiety, I took her for her first “real” day of preschool and left after hugs, kisses and reassurances that I’d be back at lunch time to pick her up. Tears. Lots of them. Hers. Anxiety. Lots of it. Both of ours. I sat nervously at the Starbuck’s situated closest to the school, about to jump out of my skin at any moment, my *regular* anxiety compounded by the knowledge that stress tends to lower her blood sugar. I worried she would have a hypoglycemic episode. I ran errands. I sat at the library updating my Facebook status and Tweeting. All the while I clutched my cell phone frantically, willing it not to ring. Willing her to be okay. She was. Yes, she cried. Yes, it happened off and on all morning. But she was fine. A little slow to hug me when I picked her up but I chalked that up to “What the heck, Mommy? Why’d you leave me?” We went to the beach and ate a picnic lunch and went home to take a nap. We survived.

When I told the school director that Petunia had never been left with anyone but me, The Daddy or Gammaw she said “Oh, it’ll take about a month”. And she was right. The next couple of times she cried before we left the house. She cried when we got there. She cried when I left. But then one day, the teacher told me that she stopped crying after I left, played with a new friend, and was happy most of the time. We had a “no tears” day shortly after that but then we had a regression. Tears before, during and after drop-off. Gah! A couple more days of that and I was about ready to pull her. Instead I:

• Borrowed books about separation from the teacher and the library and read them every reading time.
• Focused on the positive and fun things that she was doing at preschool and how exciting it is that she goes to school now.
• Stayed on the playground and watched her before they went into her classroom at her request but did so for shorter and shorter amounts of time until it was just a quick hug/kiss drop-off.
• Talked about how much Mommy loved her and would never leave her anywhere she didn’t think they would take really good care of her
• Had special picnic lunches right after pick up time.
• Designated days that she went to preschool as “Watch Your Favorite Video Night”
• Designated the ride to and from preschool as the time when she could play her favorite song over and over and over until we got there/home. By the way, it is a 3 1/2 “Margaritaville” drive from our house to the preschool. Don’t ask. I couldn’t tell you how/why she chose this as the song she wanted. I will say that I would have liked to be a resident in Margaritaville that first month that she attended preschool.

But then I picked her up one day and when I asked her how preschool was, she said “It was FUN!” and I was finally able to relax. In hindsight, I should have started talking about and dealing with the transition with her much earlier. I should have anticipated her reaction and eased her into it a bit more. The one thing that I did not do was stay in her classroom with her to ease her into it. I’m still not sure if that was the right thing to do but the teacher and director seemed to think it was so I gave it a month and it all worked out.

While freaking out about Petunia’s separation anxiety and wondering whether or not I should pull her from preschool (and risk losing my sanity at home for another year), there were a few criteria that I came across having to do with whether or not your child is ready for preschool. Here is what I found that “they” see as preschool readiness:

• Do they have some independent skills such as being potty trained, sleeping alone, eating and washing hands by themselves? Yep, she’s had those wired for a while. Although, oddly, she wants me to watch everything she does since starting preschool. Didn’t used to. Hmmmm…
• Have they spent time away from you? Uh, no. Hardly ever. This Mommy has no life other than that of Mommy of Diabetic 3 Year Old. None. Zero. Zip.
• Can they work on projects by themselves? This one presented an interesting dilemma for me. She can work on projects by herself but strongly prefers to work on them with The Mommy.
• Are they ready to participate in group activities? Follow instructions, sit still, listen, sing with other kids in a group? Since we had done 2 years of Mommy and Me and lots of small group play dates, she definitely could do this one. However, again, she preferred The Mommy to the group of kids.
• Are they used to a regular schedule? Kids who have a regular schedule more easily adapt to the structure of preschool. Yep, we’ve always had a pretty regular schedule but, since her diagnosis with diabetes, schedule is king!
• Do they have the stamina for preschool? Basically, do they still need a mid-morning nap? What 3 year old takes a mid-morning nap? I’m shocked yet pleased that mine still takes an afternoon nap!
• The last criteria was The Mommy’s motivation for sending Petunia to preschool. “Do you just need time for yourself?” was asked and there were other options for getting said time to myself, none of which would work for us. If the time to myself was the only factor, it would not have stopped me from pulling Petunia from preschool (and starting therapy). Although, I have to admit, I was one Motivated Momma regarding Petunia’s Preschool adjustment. But, as an only child (who will remain that way) who is smart as a whip, very verbal, sensitive and extremely connected to The Momma, I really felt like she needed preschool, not that I just needed her to be in preschool. And I’m very glad that I did not pull her. She loves it. She is excited about going, asks to go on days when she is not supposed to and I’ve seen huge progress in her interactions with other kids outside of preschool. She used to hang back and sit on my lap or say “Want Mommy to play with me” every play dates. And while she will still do this, the other day, she ran off with another girl and played dolls! What?!

It was touch-and-go there for a while but we survived and now we are both thriving. She is growing socially and I am a much happier Momma for having a couple of hours twice a week to do what I want. Or to do nothing at all.