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It never fails. The end of each year and the beginning of the next has me just giddy with the prospect of change. I like change, for the most part. I get hyped about starting new and fresh. I consider all kinds of plans to become more organized, more fit, a better (mother, wife, businessperson…fill in the blank). I get excited about writing down my goals and this year, darnit, I’m going to do it! However, I cannot remember a single year where I actually changed a habit and it stuck. Oh I may have gone a couple of months with it and made some changes but eventually I would end up right back where I started. That’s not to say that some of the small changes haven’t stuck, it just hasn’t resulted in the SuperWoman that I anticipated. This has prompted me to do a teensy bit of research on habit change as I begin 2010. And, yeah, December 31st is a little late to be researching in anticipation of the new year tomorrow. But let’s just say the processof change will start tomorrow. Read on and you will understand, Mamasan.

There were a couple of articles in my brief research that caught my eye and seemed to make sense to me. One was from this website and it breaks the habit change process down into 6 steps:
1. Precontemplation. This pretty much equals denial so hopefully you aren’t there on this Eve of the New Year.
2. Contemplation. You realize you have a problem and want to change so you do a bit of research into ways to change. You have “indefinite plans”. Oh yeah, there I am.
3. Preparation. Here’s where you do the realistic planning. You make a detailed plan, your awareness of the problem is high and you may already start to make some small changes. Your detailed plan may include small steps and measurable goals. Not nebulous stuff like I will keep the house more clean. How will you do that? What specific steps will you take? At what time will you do these steps?
4. Action. This would be where you “do it”. You follow your plan and make revisions as needed. What’s working and what isn’t? Do you need to break your steps down even smaller? Set smaller goals?
5. Maintenance. This stage requires constant vigilance, a systemic plan for dealing with triggers or temptations to going back to how it used to be.
6. Termination. There is controversy about whether or not this is actually a stage since some feel you will always need vigilance about ingrained habits. The 10 or so pounds I have lost over and over again tend to agree with that theory.

Another article that resonated with me can be found here (I intend to check this blog out much more…seems that it might be of benefit). The five things that are promoted as being necessary for effective habit change are:
1. Tackle one habit at a time. Okay, here’s where I really think that they’re probably right but I just can’t resist the lure of tackling one habit per area of my life (finances, fitness, business, household, parenting…the list goes on). But with too many “goals” comes burnout for sure. Try sticking with one this New Year and see how it goes!
2. Create a plan and write it down. Be as specific as possible about what exactly you are going to do and how you will do it. For example: I will pack my gym bag with gym clothes, shower supplies and work clothes and I will make my lunch the night before. I will not press the snooze button when the alarm goes off. Instead I will get out of bed and get my sleepy butt in the car and go to the gym. Or, I will check my email 3 times a day for 10 minutes as opposed to once an hour for a half an hour so that I will get more done at work/around the house/etc. You get the idea.
3. Refine your plan as needed. Be realistic. It will not be the “best case scenario”. Take into account the things that can and will go wrong. If you don’t, you will be setting yourself up for failure.
4. Make mini-plans. These are the super-specific things that you write down the day or night before. Your “intentions”, if you will. “Tomorrow I will get up at 5:30, get dressed in my workout clothes, go down to the garage and work out for a half hour.” Seems too simple to do but studies have shown that it is effective.
5. Repeat. Habits are things that we have done over and over and over. By definition, they are repetitive. So, do it, do it, and do it again. Before you know it you will have developed a new, positive habit or eradicated a bad one.

Sticking with the “tackle one habit at a time”, I’m going to head to bed. I figure that the getting enough sleep thing is probably the first thing I should tackle. So I’m headed to bed to start getting to bed at a decent hour a day early. Hey, I guess I’m in the Preparation stage, huh?

Good luck to you if you are planning those New Year’s resolutions. I’m not doing resolutions per se, just using the first of the year as a good excuse to start taking better care of myself and putting a teensy bit more discipline in my life, one habit at a time…

Happy New Year!

Okay, those of you Mommas out there with 3 year olds will completely understand my angst with the question “Why?” these days. It is the most often spoken word out of my dear Petunia’s mouth and it is driving me crazy. On the one hand, in my idealistic, be-all-you-can-be mind, it’s fantastic that Petunia is asking so many questions. I love her desire to know things! But in my realistic, Mommy’s-cranky-from-getting-up-twice-last-night-to-test-sugar-bugs world, “why” is the bane of my existence. And the kicker is that Petunia will not just ask me a question once. She will ask it multiple times in the span of a couple of minutes. Hoping for a better answer? Maybe. Just wanting my attention? Possibly. Driving me crazy? Definitely. Well, one day I happened to think of this little gem that I will share with you in the hopes that it will better your world like it has bettered mine. Maybe it has already occurred to you to do this but, if it hasn’t, give it a try! Now when Petunia asks me a question and I think she genuinely does not know the answer, I will tell her, but not always. Most of the time now when Petunia asks a question I utter these marvelous four words: “Why do you think” before finishing my sentence with whatever the rest of her question was. Example: “Why do you think I said you couldn’t stand on the chair?”. “Why do you think you can’t go to bed without brushing your teeth?”. “Why do you think I won’t let you climb on the table?”. You get the picture. It allows her to think about the reasons why I have said “no” or even just to exercise her brain a little to come up with an answer for a question that does not involve Mommy’s permission to do something. “Why do crabs have claws?” “Why do you think?” Try it! You might come up with some pretty funny and memorable explanations for things and it’ll give you a respite from having to answer all of those “Why is the sky blue?” kinds of questions that tax a Mommy-brain when asked all day long in rapid-fire succession.