Ambivalence and Accountability
It’s two weeks into the New Year and time to take stock of what might be holding you back from success with your New Year’s resolutions. In thinking about this, two words came to my mind: ambivalence and accountability.
Ambivalence. One of the reasons why sometimes the habit-change trigger is pulled and it all “works” and other times it just doesn’t. Ambivalence due to not wanting to give up things that we do to cope with stress. Eating too much, drinking, smoking, mindless TV watching instead of exercising or getting more sleep…whatever it is that we are trying to change. We have some investment in the behavior and the sacrifices we have to make (giving up that thing we use to cope) in the short term we feel are just too hard. The long-term is just too easy to ignore in the wake of the day we’ve had. We may continue to engage in the behavior we’re trying to change because it has become our way of coping with stress. Or we have invested some of our identity in the behavior. But, for whatever reason, we are not “all in”. Take a moment today and really look at what your investment in keeping your habit might be. This can be an important first step to pulling that trigger and getting it all to work.
Accountability is another factor in whether you stay motivated to change. When you tell someone else about your goal or are part of a group working on similar goals, it is harder to blow off the daily steps you need to take in order to accomplish them. Case in point: the other day I blogged about how phenomenally bad I am at discipline when I’m trying vs. when I’m just naturally motivated. Well, since then, I have gotten to bed at a decent hour every night. Hm…could it be that putting it out there to my three readers has given me the accountability that I needed? Maybe. It could also be that it has brought back into focus what I’m trying to do here: take care of myself so I have the energy to be a Good Mommy to Petunia, a Good Wife to The Daddy, and a Crafty-Creative Person/Business Owner. Think about whether or not there is a person in your life that would be good to share your habit-change plan with. Someone who will definitely support you…maybe they’re trying to work on the same goal. Or a group you can join to help you stay motivated. Check Meetup.com for a group in your area. That’s how I found the play group we joined when Petunia was a baby.
Take a few minutes to yourself today without distractions, if you can, and think about these two words and what they might mean for your success. Maybe there’s a minute or two when you’re in the car without kids, or everybody’s napping or otherwise occupied. Consider whether these factors are impacting you and what you can do about them. It just may make the difference for you.


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