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On Father’s Day, The Daddy wanted to sit on his butt all day in front of the TV, watch the Lakers and the Celtics and, oh, I don’t know, probably scratch, fart and pick his nose. We will never know because we were banished upstairs to have a “Chickfest”. I completely understood, although I wasn’t really too happy about being “banished” but we headed upstairs to spend the day away from Daddy but close enough that he could visit if he felt guilty. Or lonely. Or whatever.

It was clear that we would need a Chickfest structure of some sort and, although my fort-building skills are formidable, this needed to be special. I realized that we had a Beach Cabana from One Step Ahead in the garage that we had bought last summer planning to use for the beach. The Tot never sat still at the beach so it was useless. But not that day! I ran down to the garage, ran back up stairs and popped that sucker open in our master bedroom. Voila! Instant “Chicktent” for our Chickfest. Add a Dora quilt, a few hot pink pillows of various shapes and sizes, stuffed animals, and we were ready! We read books, gave manicures and pedicures (sneaky way to file The Tot’s nails without her suspecting that it is something she should hate), and played with stuffed animals and Dora dolls. We went outside on the patio, ran errands and generally spent a nice day together. I think The Daddy got a little jealous when he came up to check on us and saw the set up we had up there but it was too late at that point. The Chickfest was well underway and boys just weren’t allowed. Since Father’s Day, we’ve had quite a few Chickfests and the cabana has been a staple for our beach days. She is much more likely to sit in the “Chicktent” this year than last although she still runs like a banshee at the beach most of the time. She will sit in it to eat lunch and play with whatever character dolls she has insisted on ruining by dragging them to the beach and through the sand. And she will do this all because Daddy wanted a little “Daddy Time” on Father’s Day. Thank you, Daddy!

With the larger economy being what it is and the personal economy of this stay-at-home Mommy being what it is, I am always on the look out for free things to do. Especially during the summer. I don’t know why because Tater Tot is only 2 1/2 but it just feels like summer should be packed with fun stuff to do! I understand why the Mommies with kiddos that are school aged pack their summer days with fun stuff but I’m still not sure why I feel the need. Oh well. I digress.

Friday night I decided that I wanted to go to the Concert in the Park series that my city puts on. I guess I had thought about it before, I’m not really sure. But there it was, looming large like a pimple on the end of your nose on prom night, the desire to go out into a throng of other families and listen to Afro-Cuban jazz and dance with my tiny tot. The Daddy did not want to go. Tater Tot decided that it might be fun so we headed out on our own while Daddy enjoyed some “Daddy time”. We left in time to get to the park on time, not realizing that this was a big deal. I mean, I guess I thought some people might show up but Good Lord! The entire baseball outfield was packed with families and their blankets, coolers, tables, chairs, picnic baskets, bikes, wagons, balls and toys. Some of the set-ups were pretty darned impressive! People made elaborate meals and ate them with wine while relaxing in reclining lawn chairs. Others carted their pizza boxes and coolers of beer and ate them while throwing a football. It was clear that people put much more thought into their outing than I had. We were armed with Dora and Boots dolls, flip flops, and my keys. Which ended up being okay since Tater Tot wanted to stand right by the stage and stare at the lights anyway.

We had a fantastic time! I think it helped that I did not have an agenda. Most things go more smoothly when you drop your expectations and just go with the flow, I’m finding. Life just ends up being more enjoyable. So that’s what we did. We bopped and grooved for a bit, walked around the baseball field for a bit, and just took in the sights. When a song ended, I could count on hearing a forceful “Do n’ again!” from The Tater Tot that got a little lost in the cacophony of sounds surrounding us. But still she yelled it, expecting that the band would listen to her and continue. And for a while, they did.

If you have such a program in your city, I would highly recommend it. It struck me that the picture I saw was exactly what summer should be all about: families, friends and relaxation. We will be doing it again this week. And, this time we’re bringing dinner and some friends…

The Daddy finally made the call on The Dog and we had her put to sleep yesterday. I’m sad. He’s sad. He did a phenomenal job explaining things in a way that a two year old could understand and had her say good bye to The Dog. He told her that The Dog was going to see her Mommy and Daddy. Now, I’m sure she doesn’t understand that she’s never coming back and I halfway think that she won’t even notice that she’s gone for a while. You see, The Dog was old and sick and really didn’t want to be bothered with little sticky hands that didn’t always know how to be gentle. They kind of kept a wide berth of one another unless supervised. But, when supervised, Tater Tot enjoyed petting The Dog and The Dog came to trust that Tater Tot wasn’t going to hurt her. She would come up while we were sitting on the floor, stick her nose under my arm, and nudge it up so she could put her little face under it. That was her saying “Pet me, Momma”. I will miss that. And the way she got so excited when we came home. It usually didn’t matter if we’d only been gone 10 minutes, she was still excited that Her People were home again. She was an exceptional dog and we will miss her.

There, I said it. I’m old. I’m watching VH-1’s Greatest Hits of the 90’s and I am O-L-D. I remember dancing my BUTT off to some of these songs at the clubs before I was married. Back when I had the energy and the body to do so. Now, if I dance, it could start an earthquake here in sunny SoCal. Okay, so that’s an exaggeration but it would definitely start some jigglin’ that wouldn’t stop any time soon on the Mommy Body. *Heavy sigh* Yes, I know just about every word to every cheesy 90’s song they are profiling. I am not proud of that.

On a different note, I feel better today. I went to PT tonight and I feel much stronger. Yes, I’m going to physical therapy still for several reasons, including that Tater Tot is 30 pounds and she still “Want Mommy to carry zhyou.” And how can you say “no” to the cutest child on the planet? Answer: you can’t. But mostly these days we’re working on a really, really old hamstring running injury that is coming back to haunt me. Hurting at really inopportune times like when I’m walking. Yeah, walking. Not fun. But it’s getting better and I don’t feel any longer like my injuries will have me put out to pasture before I’m 40. The exhaustion and shortness of breath might, but not my injuries…

Even though I am thrashed more often than not after my 12+ hour days taking care of Tater Tot, the house, and The Daddy, I am happy with my life. Tonight during “reading time”, while Tater Tot was screeching and running, Daddy was reading, and I was corralling The Tot, being Kissy Monster trying to get “smackaroonies” from her, I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else doing anything else. I am where I’m supposed to be.

The Good News is that Tater Tot went to the doc yesterday morning to check her ear infection and it’s gone. Her ears look great and her lungs sound great. Of course she has now developed another little sniffle/sneeze/whatever so we didn’t go to pre-school but, at least for now, it hasn’t gotten worse. It’s probably just a little cold.

The Bad News is that The Dog is not doing well and I think The Daddy is gonna make the call this week. It’s such a hard decision to make! But her quality of life is not good right now and it’s not going to get any better, unfortunately. So, we’ll see. I get teary just thinking about it even though I know it’ll be best for her. I just can’t imagine what it’s going to be like without her around. We’ll see, though, because he’s said that before and he hasn’t been able to do it yet…

Tater Tot has a funny way of designating anything that she doesn’t know the name for as a “singie” (thingie). “Zhyou want dat toy.” “Which toy?” I ask. “Da Singie Toy.” “The Thingie Toy?” “Dat Singie Toy” she says. Or she’ll say, “Ooooh, look at dat singie.” I try not to laugh but it’s just so danged cute! And I think I’m in trouble already with the girlie stuff. Sometimes when she puts my shoes on her feet she says “Ooooh, deez look pretty good wif deez sockies”. She regularly poses in front of the mirror and smiles at herself. Or “does some posing” that looks more like gymnastics to me but what do I know from posing? She especially likes to look at herself when I put her hair up in ponytails or in a head band. She thinks she’s pretty cute. And she’s right.

I am grateful. Grateful for The Tater Tot and The Daddy. Grateful for little bits of respite that come just when you think you are going to dissolve in a puddle of self-pity and martyrdom because you feel so physically depleted you could cry. Grateful for the wonderful cuteness that is my little girl. This little person can, more often than not, pull me out of the pit even when I feel so tired that I only want to lay on the floor. She is the reason that I muster up the bursts of energy to go to play dates and dance around the kitchen with the dishwasher noise like she likes to, the patience to do “crafty-crafts” and go on “shwort walks” (no, that’s not a typo…it’s a toddler-speakism). She is fun and funny and my world revolves around her.

I am grateful that The Daddy recognizes that I am making a huge effort to work through my fatigue to make life fun for Tater Tot and neat and orderly for him. He has started back to the Master’s program and is doing an after-school tutoring program for extra money and it’s the least I can do to help support him. If he feels less stressed because the house is in order when he gets home, that’s what I need to do. Put it on auto-pilot, Mommy and just get it done. But it is nice that he tells me that he appreciates it and offers to give me some time for myself when he’s not working or doing reading for school or writing papers. Just the recognition and offer of help makes a difference for me. I’d like to take him up on that offer….

The Dog is not doing well. The Daddy called the vet today to see what all is involved with “putting her down”. She still has that spark and can muster up some energy to be excited when The Daddy gets home but, for the most part, she lays around all day “resting”. When she does get up and around, her back left leg is basically useless. She is in pain from the hip dysplasia. And she’s on amoxicillin to keep a skin condition from getting infected. There’s a fluid-filled cyst in her neck and she recently had surgery for a cyst in her abdomen. Her hearing is going. It’s a laundry-list. It’s difficult. She hasn’t let us know yet that she’s ready to go but do we want to wait until she’s miserable? I don’t know. It’s too much to contemplate when I’m exhausted and feel crappy. At least for today, she is still with us and we don’t have to make a decision. Tomorrow has enough trouble of it’s own. I don’t need to borrow any for today. I’m grateful that Tater Tot probably won’t remember this.

Sorry for the downer but that’s just where I’m at right now….

I am doing laundry, dishes, and cleaning the bomb site that is my home in a Dora party hat for one reason: my baby girl wants me to and it’s her birthday. My baby is two. It’s hard to believe. She is still sick but getting better….slowly. Her fever finally broke last night after a week and she is starting to eat a little bit of something besides applesauce. The antibiotic-induced diarrhea is no fun but whatever eventually makes her feel better is okay by me at this point.

Now comes the task of finding a spot for all the birthday loot…wish me luck!

Happy Birthday Tater Tot! And Happy Birthday to you too, Zoe! You two are such great little girls!

I am grateful that The Daddy was off work this week for President’s Week. Tater Tot is sick. Pretty darned sick. Sick enough to warrant a trip to the doc where we found out that she has an ear infection. That doesn’t sound bad, does it? Well, it’s obvious that whatever is infecting her ears is also infecting her chest because she has been up hacking and snorking most of the night since Sunday with a fever between 100 and 102. So I’ve been up giving her Tylenol and “rocking and shnuggling” to get her back to sleep. The Daddy took a turn last night so I was able to get a little bit more sleep. She’s on her second day of antibiotic and the diarrhea has begun. Not fun. She’s never been this sick before. But she’s starting to get a little more pep back in her step today so I think she’s turned the corner. I’ll tell you, though, we have broken just about every routine we have this week and I’m curious to see what it’ll be like when she’s not sick anymore and we go back to the regular routine. At least then I will have more sleep which hopefully will equal more energy to deal with the inevitable tantrums when I don’t let her follow the loosey-goosey routine we’ve had this week.

That’s it. That’s all I’ve got. Creative juices have dried up so all you get is the report of what’s been going on in the world of Princess Tater Tot and The Mommy. Sorry.

I’m not sure if I’m ready for this… The Tater Tot always loves to be “Naked Girl” and she does the funniest “Naked Dance” (her words). She was having fun doing the Naked Dance before bath time tonight when she says “Have to go potty”. She has said this a kazillion times before and we take her diaper off, sit her on the potty seat and play, talk, laugh, wait for virtually nothing. So I put her on the potty seat, played, talked, laughed, waited until she said “Done goin’ potty” like she always does. There is never anything in the potty seat when she is “Done goin’ potty”. Except for tonight. I look down and there is pee-pee in the potty seat! Oh Good Lord she has gone potty on the potty seat for the first time ever! I made such a ridiculous production about the pee-pee in the potty seat that I am sure that the neighbors for at least a half mile know that my child went in the potty for the first time. I was completely floored! Does this mean I have to start potty training? I’m not prepared! I haven’t really even thought much about it because she has been so ambivalent and seemed so not ready! I guess I’d better get ready. I don’t think she’s ready to do it all the time but I think that I need to start offering the potty seat at regular intervals. Good Lord, I don’t even know how to approach this yet. Guess I’d better do some research…quick!