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On Father’s Day, The Daddy wanted to sit on his butt all day in front of the TV, watch the Lakers and the Celtics and, oh, I don’t know, probably scratch, fart and pick his nose. We will never know because we were banished upstairs to have a “Chickfest”. I completely understood, although I wasn’t really too happy about being “banished” but we headed upstairs to spend the day away from Daddy but close enough that he could visit if he felt guilty. Or lonely. Or whatever.

It was clear that we would need a Chickfest structure of some sort and, although my fort-building skills are formidable, this needed to be special. I realized that we had a Beach Cabana from One Step Ahead in the garage that we had bought last summer planning to use for the beach. The Tot never sat still at the beach so it was useless. But not that day! I ran down to the garage, ran back up stairs and popped that sucker open in our master bedroom. Voila! Instant “Chicktent” for our Chickfest. Add a Dora quilt, a few hot pink pillows of various shapes and sizes, stuffed animals, and we were ready! We read books, gave manicures and pedicures (sneaky way to file The Tot’s nails without her suspecting that it is something she should hate), and played with stuffed animals and Dora dolls. We went outside on the patio, ran errands and generally spent a nice day together. I think The Daddy got a little jealous when he came up to check on us and saw the set up we had up there but it was too late at that point. The Chickfest was well underway and boys just weren’t allowed. Since Father’s Day, we’ve had quite a few Chickfests and the cabana has been a staple for our beach days. She is much more likely to sit in the “Chicktent” this year than last although she still runs like a banshee at the beach most of the time. She will sit in it to eat lunch and play with whatever character dolls she has insisted on ruining by dragging them to the beach and through the sand. And she will do this all because Daddy wanted a little “Daddy Time” on Father’s Day. Thank you, Daddy!

I just finished reading Samara O’Shea’s new book Note to Self: On Keeping a Journal and Other Dangerous Pursuits and I have to say that she is brave. Not only does she confidently and easily share her journaling process, she shares much, much more than I would ever feel comfortable. Then again, I am fairly neurotic and she most likely isn’t so that may explain it. She gives the reader a glimpse into her world at varying ages and does so eloquently, even in her younger entries. It was very easy to connect with her different “selves” and see similarities (and differences) between her experience and mine. Her writing style is casual and entertaining, very easy to read.

As a result of reading Note to Self: On Keeping a Journal and Other Dangerous Pursuits I have been inspired to journal more. I am one of those “sporadic, dated” journalist/diarists who will often forget about my journal whilst keeping busy with other things (can you tell by my sporadic blogging?). Then something sticks in my craw and I have to hunt it down and have a marathon gripe/processing session, writing until my hand cramps or Tater Tot is begging for my attention, or my coffee has run out. Samara poses several interesting questions as prompts to journaling and I have used them over the past couple of days. It has been freeing to just write whatever comes to mind as she suggests. No judgment, no audience but me. Although her musing over who will read her journals in posterity flies right past me. My journals usually find a blazing end in our attractive fire pit on our patio because I like to keep my crazy to myself (most of the time anyway). A hearty recommendation for the casual or avid journaler.

With the larger economy being what it is and the personal economy of this stay-at-home Mommy being what it is, I am always on the look out for free things to do. Especially during the summer. I don’t know why because Tater Tot is only 2 1/2 but it just feels like summer should be packed with fun stuff to do! I understand why the Mommies with kiddos that are school aged pack their summer days with fun stuff but I’m still not sure why I feel the need. Oh well. I digress.

Friday night I decided that I wanted to go to the Concert in the Park series that my city puts on. I guess I had thought about it before, I’m not really sure. But there it was, looming large like a pimple on the end of your nose on prom night, the desire to go out into a throng of other families and listen to Afro-Cuban jazz and dance with my tiny tot. The Daddy did not want to go. Tater Tot decided that it might be fun so we headed out on our own while Daddy enjoyed some “Daddy time”. We left in time to get to the park on time, not realizing that this was a big deal. I mean, I guess I thought some people might show up but Good Lord! The entire baseball outfield was packed with families and their blankets, coolers, tables, chairs, picnic baskets, bikes, wagons, balls and toys. Some of the set-ups were pretty darned impressive! People made elaborate meals and ate them with wine while relaxing in reclining lawn chairs. Others carted their pizza boxes and coolers of beer and ate them while throwing a football. It was clear that people put much more thought into their outing than I had. We were armed with Dora and Boots dolls, flip flops, and my keys. Which ended up being okay since Tater Tot wanted to stand right by the stage and stare at the lights anyway.

We had a fantastic time! I think it helped that I did not have an agenda. Most things go more smoothly when you drop your expectations and just go with the flow, I’m finding. Life just ends up being more enjoyable. So that’s what we did. We bopped and grooved for a bit, walked around the baseball field for a bit, and just took in the sights. When a song ended, I could count on hearing a forceful “Do n’ again!” from The Tater Tot that got a little lost in the cacophony of sounds surrounding us. But still she yelled it, expecting that the band would listen to her and continue. And for a while, they did.

If you have such a program in your city, I would highly recommend it. It struck me that the picture I saw was exactly what summer should be all about: families, friends and relaxation. We will be doing it again this week. And, this time we’re bringing dinner and some friends…

One day after a particularly stinky Tater Tot “toot”, I said something to the effect of “We’d better run away from the stink.” Thus was born the grossest thing my little sweet baby has ever said. “Stay in the stink!” she shouts. “Want to stay in the stink!” Now every time I comment on her stinky toots I get to hear my precious angel yell “Stay in the stink!” That’s my girl… :*

Let me start by saying that I think that Tater Tot has a full grasp of how to drink out of a “reg’lar cup” as we call them around here. I really think she does. That being said, she has managed to spill some sort of liquid from said cups just about every meal for months. Juice, milk, water, it doesn’t matter. It’s usually when I have finished my meal and have gotten up to clean dishes or tidy the kitchen. She is right there. I am right there. There is no more than 15 feet between us and yet she feels the need to get my attention by playing with her cup and spilling stuff all over the place. Sticks her hands in them, makes “cup houses”, bangs them on the table while full of liquid, puts her utensils in them. Whatever it takes to make the spill happen, really. She’s willing to go the distance.

I don’t know if this is the way most mommies feel about it but it’s just plain irritating to me. I try to modulate my reaction so that I don’t make it a big deal. It’s only water/milk/juice anyway. And there is a good chance that she’s doing it on purpose to get my reaction so I bite my tongue, slap a happy face on it and sweetly say “Oops! Let’s clean it up now.” If I could sit still to save my life I might try staying at the table with her until she’s done with her meal to test my theory that she’s trying to get my attention. I’m not sure that’s possible, though, seeing as she takes 40 minutes to eat and I tend to pop up like a gopher out of its hole after 2 minutes of sitting still (what’s that about??). Of course she’s not “on task” that whole time. She takes breaks to wave her utensils around and play with her food but, still. Hey! Smart Mommy here just had an idea: I wonder if she’d stay on task and eat faster if I stayed at the table. It’s worth a try, anyway. What do I have to lose?

Up next: pick your battles.

The last I blogged, we were headed to Legoland with the cousins for, hopefully, a repeat performance of the Sea World trip. Few tantrums and a whole lotta fun without a whole lotta napping. Thankfully, that was a reality. Legoland went off without a hitch and the kids had a great time! I did forget the stroller so I got a little bit of a workout carrying The Tot when we needed to speed things up or when she got a bit tired. But it was worth it! The cousins enjoyed “Baby” Tater Tot and The Tot enjoyed her cousins. As much as a two year old can enjoy other kids. They’re pretty much consumed by their own existence but she did seem to enjoy interacting with them. And they were very good with her. And she hung in there until 4:00 without a nap. Didn’t wake up when I transferred her from the car seat in the cousin’s minivan to our car and she slept a few more minutes on the ride back to our house. She was up and ready to go when the cousins came over for pizza that night. It did take us a few days to get back to normal, however. Okay, it took her a few days. It took me four days to recover. Yes, four days to recover from 2 amusement parks in 2 days with a 2 year old. The hazards of being a mommy “of advanced maternal age” as they say in the obstetric world. Although, I have to say, it was not hard to keep up with a 2 year old, a 5 year old and an 8 year old at the time. It’s just afterwards that I was destroyed.

Speaking of advanced maternal age, I am turning 40 in September. Ack! I don’t yet know how I feel about that. I think I’m okay with it but we’ll see as we get closer to the day. Like I have a choice! I’m going to turn 40 like it or not so I guess I’d better just embrace it and look on the bright side, huh?

I did end up totaling my grocery receipts during Tater Tot’s nap time after the last time I blogged and it’s still unclear whether or not this community farming deal will pan out. We have had to tighten the belt yet another notch since insurance did not cover our unexpected, unwanted bathroom remodel. Unfortunately, our mortgage takes up most of our income and there just isn’t any left over for organic produce or much of anything else. At this point, I think I’m going to have to focus on getting hormone and antibiotic free meats since that seems to be the most dangerous and just get everything else as cheaply as possible. Add to that the price of gas ($4.49 last I checked!!!), and we’re a little strapped. If anybody else out there is cutting back, I’d love for you to share how you’re doing it! I’m always looking for creative ways to save a buck…

So I guess I’ve been neglecting my blog a bit. And, unfortunately, that means I’ve been neglecting the documentation of Princess Tater Tot’s childhood as well since this is my “journal”. Suffice it to say that we have had a lot going on since The Tot has become a hustling, bustling two year old. We’ve got amusement park passes to use, play dates and Mommy and Me. Errands to run and fun things to do. The result of all this hustling and bustling is that The Mommy is tired!

I also had been having some health problems including extreme fatigue that I felt were Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis related and have been having a hard time getting addressed. My insurance denied a referral to an endocrinologist (what the heck??) but my primary care physician did boost my thyroid meds, which is nice. It hasn’t taken care of all of the symptoms but it has made things “better enough” that I have the energy (almost) to get through a typical day with my two year old whirling dirvish. And another upside is that I have been able to lose 11.5 pounds watching my diet and exercising moderately! I am now below my pre-pregnancy weight (although nowhere near my pre-pregnancy fitness level!) and my clothes fit again! I am very, very happy with this since in the past it has been difficult for me to lose weight.

But enough about me and back to The Tot. Yesterday we went to Sea World with my sister and her family who are in town from Washington State this week and we had a blast! I expected that The Tot would crank out at about 12:30 but she hung in there without a nap until 3:30! Imagine that! A short nap on the way home and a regular bed time. Who knew? Of course we bought the Fun Card which gets us in for free for the rest of 2008 because, why not? If I was going to pay the regular price of admission anyway so Tater Tot could spend some time with her cousins, I might as well get the Fun Card. Of course we still have to pay $10 for parking each time and gas is through-the-roof expensive but I think we’ll at least swing a couple more visits before the year is over. It was pretty interesting to see her reactions to things. In the penguin exhibit, she was more interested in the escalator-like people-mover thingie than the penguins. While watching the dolphins, she was whining about wanting to “go in the blue hingie” (swim with the dolphins in the blue tank). But she had the best time at the new Sesame Street area in the water park before we went home. She would have stayed there for the rest of the day if I would have let her. Today we’re going to hit Legoland with The Cousins and hopefully it’ll go just about the same as yesterday. This is the first time Tater Tot has met her cousins and it’s really cute to see the kids interact. I’m happy they’re getting a chance to hang out.

On a totally different note, I’ve started checking out community supported agricultural programs in an effort to feed my family organically in a more cost-effective way. I have yet to figure out if it’s more cost-effective but that’s my next project. I’ve been keeping pretty strict track of my grocery spending the past couple of months but now it’s time to break it down a bit and see what I’ve been spending on produce. I’m hoping that it really IS more cost-effective because I had all but given up on organics on my current grocery budget. I just rinse and scrub my produce to within an inch of it’s life currently but I’m still not sure that produces the desired effect of eradication of the pesticides. So, if you wonder what I’ll be doing tomorrow during the Tater Tot’s nap time (like you’ve got nothing better to do with your time), I will be poring over grocery receipts for the month of May and calculating what I spend on produce each month. Exciting stuff, huh? Yeah, that’s Mommyhood in this Mommy Hood.

Peace, Out.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you Mommies out there! I have thoroughly enjoyed my day. We took a little trip to the beach this morning where I contemplated surfing but it was super-duper small and it was posted unhealthful due to bacteria levels. So I decided to go for a walk/jog by myself instead while The Daddy and Tater Tot played on the beach. Then The Daddy decided he wanted to go out into the unhealthful, small surf so Tater Tot and I played on the beach for a while. The Daddy made breakfast and even gave The Tot a bath once we got home from the beach! Then I got to go shopping by myself without worrying about entertaining The Tot or running after her or having to get home by a certain time to do anything. What a gift! For once I was able to try bras on without Tater Tot proclaiming loudly “Mommy’s got a bra-ha-ha on!”. It was nice. Then we ordered take-out from my favorite place and it was yummy!

There have been several things going on since I last blogged on a regular basis so let me update you. It’s not all that earth-shattering but I figured why not let you know? For one, I have lost 9 pounds. That’s after I gained 5 over the holidays and had not been able to get them off regardless of my proclamations that I would be steadfast in my New Year’s Resolutions. The resolutions did NOT stick. But around the beginning of April I found www.my-calorie-counter.com and started tracking my calories. I HATE, HATE, HATE counting calories but, guess what? It’s working. So I have been pretty focused on nutrition and exercise for the past month and it has worked. I feel more comfortable in my own skin. I still have 5 pounds to go but my clothes fit right again and I feel like I’m at least back to Normal Mommy instead of Schlubby Mommy Whose Pants Are Too Tight. In fact, I am a few pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight and able to wear clothes that I haven’t been able to wear in a couple of years! It feels good.

The most major Tot-related thing that has been going on is just Two-Ness. The Tot saying “No” to most everything I say, taking foooorrrreeeeevvvvveeeer to do most things that could take two seconds (can you tell that’s a peeve of mine?), dissolving into a puddle of tears and tantrums at the slightest provocation, and generally just exercising her right to change her mind every 5 seconds. Discipline is starting to come into play but I’ve thought long and hard about the things that I need to “time her out” for. I don’t have a comprehensive list or anything but, at least at this point, I feel like if it’s just inconveniencing me (i.e. doing things slower than I’d like) or not doing things exactly when/how I ask her to do it the first time, then I need to reserve the time out and let her be herself. Provide consequences for not listening to me and doing what I ask like “You took too long so now there isn’t time to do thus-and-so” or “Since you didn’t listen to Mommy, you can’t do this-or-that”. I need to plan that things will take longer than I expect and make sure that she understands the things that are absolute no-no’s. As I’m typing that I wonder if I will be spoiling her. And then I wonder what the value is of having a kid that will “snap to” when I ask her to do something. I don’t want her to be Robot Kid but I also do NOT want to have a Spoiled Girl and I can’t just have her ignoring Mommy, can I? There’s gotta be something in between and I am on a quest to find it. Sometimes I feel like I need a concrete plan for parenting or Tater Tot will feel the effects of how schizophrenic I sometimes feel about parenting! But I guess that parenting can be schizophrenic so maybe I should just learn how to go with the flow a little bit more, huh? Hasn’t ever been my strong suit as you can probably tell if you have read my over-analyzing, neurotic posts in the past. So, for the time being, am I taking many deep cleansing breaths, reciting my mantra “She is two. She is two. She is two.” under my breath and remembering that despite her two-ness right now, she is the best, most amazing little girl on the planet and I am lucky to be her Mommy!

The Daddy finally made the call on The Dog and we had her put to sleep yesterday. I’m sad. He’s sad. He did a phenomenal job explaining things in a way that a two year old could understand and had her say good bye to The Dog. He told her that The Dog was going to see her Mommy and Daddy. Now, I’m sure she doesn’t understand that she’s never coming back and I halfway think that she won’t even notice that she’s gone for a while. You see, The Dog was old and sick and really didn’t want to be bothered with little sticky hands that didn’t always know how to be gentle. They kind of kept a wide berth of one another unless supervised. But, when supervised, Tater Tot enjoyed petting The Dog and The Dog came to trust that Tater Tot wasn’t going to hurt her. She would come up while we were sitting on the floor, stick her nose under my arm, and nudge it up so she could put her little face under it. That was her saying “Pet me, Momma”. I will miss that. And the way she got so excited when we came home. It usually didn’t matter if we’d only been gone 10 minutes, she was still excited that Her People were home again. She was an exceptional dog and we will miss her.

Not so much anymore. Tater Tot showed a brief interest in the potty seat again last week but not any more. I’m not concerned yet since she is just a bit over 2 but it sure would be nice to be done with diapers. I’m looking forward to selling off my cloth diaper stash and moving on. Not wanting to cause potty power struggles, however, I think I’ve got a little ways to go yet. I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing which is offering the potty seat at regular intervals and letting her choose whether or not she wants to. I should probably start reading those articles on potty training that I haven’t gotten around to yet…