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Things have been a bit, well, raw lately. I haven’t been writing that much even though I’d like to because I feel like I’d just be complaining and whining to my three readers. And I don’t want to drive you away. Lord knows I can’t afford to lose any of the three of you.

I’ve thought about what posts I can write that add value to your lives either through information and education or humor. Posts that I can write that entertain and inform. Topics I can cover that many parents will relate to. I got nothin’. Nothin’ but a whole lotta nothin’. And that stems from having no time to myself. No time to feel creative or replenish my energy stores or be motivated to do much of anything. At least with a newborn, I could find the humor in things. I could find a way to make fun of myself. I haven’t gotten there yet with this stage of my life. I will. I’m starting to. But not quite yet.

The less than zero time to myself is coming to a head. I need to take a break or sanity will leave and The Daddy will have 24-7 responsibility of Tater Tot and her Diabetes because I will be at The Funny Farm. They will be able to visit me in my padded cell and maybe, if I’m good, they’ll undo one of my arms so I can give my little girl and husband a side-hug. All while closely supervised, of course.

Okay, maybe it’s not that bad but it still merits a bit of attention. Which is why I am grateful that this Thursday is the monthly Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation Parent Coffee in my neck of the woods. I so badly need to connect with parents who have been through this or are going through this. I need support from someone who knows what it’s like. I’m just not sure that anyone else but a Diabetes Mom would understand the crushing responsibility for everything from damage to future IQ to diabetic retinopathy due to poor blood sugar control to treating daily low blood sugars that could become fatal or the futile attempt to keep a toddler’s blood sugars within the acceptable range. And while the JDRF Mentor Mom they assigned me is really great, I need to know her a bit better to show my crazy. I’m sure she probably would understand a babbling, sobbing mess calling her on the phone but I just have not been able to do that lately. I think partly because I’m not sure how to articulate what’s wrong. Except that I need a break. There is nobody I can leave Tater Tot with because I am it. Nevermind that the stress of trying to keep her blood sugar in range, save as much money as humanly possible while making it all stretch as far as I can AND while feeding my family in the healthiest possible way and keeping the house tidy and organized so as to provide a supportive environment for above-mentioned hard-working husband is driving me crazy and providing no time to take care of myself. Minor details.

I know that we will get this all worked out and I will adjust. We’re just hitting some speed bumps. Very large, very ugly speed bumps. Unfortunately, along the way, This Mommy is getting a little irritated and I can safely say that I will not be winning the Mother of The Year Award.

One day after a particularly stinky Tater Tot “toot”, I said something to the effect of “We’d better run away from the stink.” Thus was born the grossest thing my little sweet baby has ever said. “Stay in the stink!” she shouts. “Want to stay in the stink!” Now every time I comment on her stinky toots I get to hear my precious angel yell “Stay in the stink!” That’s my girl… :*

Okay, it’s my birthday so I’m going to whine if I want to. Not much, mind you, but I feel the need to get this off my chest.

The TV repair guy has had our TV for EIGHT WEEKS! Eight weeks. Two months. IS THIS NORMAL??? I don’t think so. I called him Saturday about the part he couldn’t get that he should have been able to get and didn’t hear back from him. Called him again on Tuesday and left another message for him. Of course he calls when we are out at the grocery store and only leaves his phone number. Mind you, I left a detailed message asking specific questions. I called back immediately and no one answered. I swear he has taken my TV and sold it to someone else! After he fixed it, of course, because what use is a TV that turns off after 5 minutes?

And then there’s Samsung. I am trying to reserve judgement about them until they decide whether or not to reimburse us for the parts since the TV is only a year and a half old. But the woman I spoke to last week Thursday said that she would get back to me that day or Friday. Um, it’s Thursday again and I haven’t heard from her. *Heavy sigh* Again, I know it’s not the end of the world and we DO have another TV (at least 10 years old!) but, Good Lord they are on my last nerve right now.

Phew. I feel better. Now the chances of me getting snippy at the TV repair guy and Samsung customer service are greatly diminished when I go call them again right now…

It is widely documented that I have a 10 degree comfort zone. If it’s between 68 and 78 degrees, I am just fine, thank you very much. Any lower and I break out a sweater (thank you Hashimoto’s). Any higher and I am uncomfortable and bordering on grumpy. Needless to say, with temps in the 90s here lately, there has been a bit of grumpiness. Thank God we bought a portable air conditioner last year or Tater Tot and I would have been living in the air conditioned grocery store down the street this week!

Thankfully, the forecast says it’s supposed to be in the mid-70s today. Well within my weather wimp-ey comfort zone. Hey, this is why we live in Southern California as opposed to Northern California or some other state that has weather extremes. Of course we pay for that privilege but…we’re happy here.

Best of all, Tater Tot has been letting me put a fan in her room the past two nights so I don’t worry as much about her when I put her to sleep. And now with the temps cooling down, she won’t wake up all sweaty and cranky from her nap! What a bonus!

Weather is one of the reasons we moved back down to Southern California from Northern California. “Why?” you ask. “The San Francisco area has quite nice weather.” you say. No, no, no. San Francisco is not Northern California. We lived waaaaay up in Northern California. It seems so odd to me that people think that SF is NorCal when it’s really CentralCal. We lived far enough up in CA that we were almost in Oregon. It rained. A LOT. It was cold. A LOT. The ocean never gets above 55 degrees even in the summer. Surfing is done in 5mm wetsuits with booties, hoods, gloves, thermal rash guards and any other concoction of warmth-inducing paraphernalia you can cook up! We once surfed in 45 degree water when it was 45 degrees outside. Ouch! Can you say “ice cream headache”? I used to know it was time to get out of the water when I couldn’t feel my feet anymore. When I’d go to take my booties off, my hand muscles wouldn’t work well enough to pull them down over my ankles. Brrrrr. Give me 70 degree water any day! Not that I’ve been getting in it any time recently…

In no particular order:

1. Tater Tot signed “juice” for the first time the other day! I love how imitative she is these days! But that means I’ve really got to watch my language…

2. Relationships are messy. That’s all I’m gonna say on that one.

3. There are a ton of ridiculously run-on sentences in the Bible. Check out Jeremiah 29:14. Dude, where’s your editor? (Side note: not bashing the Bible here. I like the Bible. Just an observation.)

4. The Daddy has been doing a ton of work on our patio so that it’s Tater Tot friendly and it looks great! More shade and lots of Tater-height garden flags/interactive stuff for her. She loves to play in the fountain!

5. Coffee is good.

6. I have not slept enough this week. (See musing #2 and #5)

7. The Coffee Bean and Tea leaf makes the best cold blended coffee drink on the planet! I treated myself the other day and mmmmmmmm….yummy!

8. I am really into rehabbing “found items” right now. I have found several things lately that people were giving away for free (Freecycle.com can be great!) that needed a little bit of work. I’m fixing up the balcony outside of Tater Tot’s room and our office. and trying to do it for very low cost. So free is good! I’m hoping to put a patio table, umbrella, lounge, some plant stands, a play area. I found two really interesting-looking lattice screens the other day that need to be sanded and painted. I think they’ll look really good once I’m done!

9. My family ROCKS! It feels really good to know that I have all of the support that I do and that there are people who can talk me down off the ceiling when I need it. And I really enjoy being around them. Unfortunately, two sisters live in other states and a brother lives 4 hours away. But Mom and Dad live just two hours up the road (an hour and a half if I’m drivin’ fast). And the little bro tends to visit Mom and Dad when he knows Tater Tot and I are going to be there.

Well, that’s about the size of it for right now…

Oh, hallelujah I am connected again! For the past two weeks I have not been able to figure out how to get my new computer and my old printer to communicate. The software I had did not list Windows Vista as a compatible operating system since it is more than a year old and I couldn’t seem to download the software from the internet. Days would go by with no progress on the problem because I couldn’t muster the energy to tackle the problem. Sometimes these things get put on the back burner if they end up not being “easy”. I did go to the printer manufacturer’s web site and attempt to download new software but it didn’t work (I think I did it wrong). So I emailed customer support and (imagine this) they responded with an answer that worked! I was able to install the required software and get all those cute pics of Tater Tot off of my camera’s CF card! Wahoo! Now to send them all to the family and friends…