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So I guess I’ve been neglecting my blog a bit. And, unfortunately, that means I’ve been neglecting the documentation of Princess Tater Tot’s childhood as well since this is my “journal”. Suffice it to say that we have had a lot going on since The Tot has become a hustling, bustling two year old. We’ve got amusement park passes to use, play dates and Mommy and Me. Errands to run and fun things to do. The result of all this hustling and bustling is that The Mommy is tired!

I also had been having some health problems including extreme fatigue that I felt were Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis related and have been having a hard time getting addressed. My insurance denied a referral to an endocrinologist (what the heck??) but my primary care physician did boost my thyroid meds, which is nice. It hasn’t taken care of all of the symptoms but it has made things “better enough” that I have the energy (almost) to get through a typical day with my two year old whirling dirvish. And another upside is that I have been able to lose 11.5 pounds watching my diet and exercising moderately! I am now below my pre-pregnancy weight (although nowhere near my pre-pregnancy fitness level!) and my clothes fit again! I am very, very happy with this since in the past it has been difficult for me to lose weight.

But enough about me and back to The Tot. Yesterday we went to Sea World with my sister and her family who are in town from Washington State this week and we had a blast! I expected that The Tot would crank out at about 12:30 but she hung in there without a nap until 3:30! Imagine that! A short nap on the way home and a regular bed time. Who knew? Of course we bought the Fun Card which gets us in for free for the rest of 2008 because, why not? If I was going to pay the regular price of admission anyway so Tater Tot could spend some time with her cousins, I might as well get the Fun Card. Of course we still have to pay $10 for parking each time and gas is through-the-roof expensive but I think we’ll at least swing a couple more visits before the year is over. It was pretty interesting to see her reactions to things. In the penguin exhibit, she was more interested in the escalator-like people-mover thingie than the penguins. While watching the dolphins, she was whining about wanting to “go in the blue hingie” (swim with the dolphins in the blue tank). But she had the best time at the new Sesame Street area in the water park before we went home. She would have stayed there for the rest of the day if I would have let her. Today we’re going to hit Legoland with The Cousins and hopefully it’ll go just about the same as yesterday. This is the first time Tater Tot has met her cousins and it’s really cute to see the kids interact. I’m happy they’re getting a chance to hang out.

On a totally different note, I’ve started checking out community supported agricultural programs in an effort to feed my family organically in a more cost-effective way. I have yet to figure out if it’s more cost-effective but that’s my next project. I’ve been keeping pretty strict track of my grocery spending the past couple of months but now it’s time to break it down a bit and see what I’ve been spending on produce. I’m hoping that it really IS more cost-effective because I had all but given up on organics on my current grocery budget. I just rinse and scrub my produce to within an inch of it’s life currently but I’m still not sure that produces the desired effect of eradication of the pesticides. So, if you wonder what I’ll be doing tomorrow during the Tater Tot’s nap time (like you’ve got nothing better to do with your time), I will be poring over grocery receipts for the month of May and calculating what I spend on produce each month. Exciting stuff, huh? Yeah, that’s Mommyhood in this Mommy Hood.

Peace, Out.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you Mommies out there! I have thoroughly enjoyed my day. We took a little trip to the beach this morning where I contemplated surfing but it was super-duper small and it was posted unhealthful due to bacteria levels. So I decided to go for a walk/jog by myself instead while The Daddy and Tater Tot played on the beach. Then The Daddy decided he wanted to go out into the unhealthful, small surf so Tater Tot and I played on the beach for a while. The Daddy made breakfast and even gave The Tot a bath once we got home from the beach! Then I got to go shopping by myself without worrying about entertaining The Tot or running after her or having to get home by a certain time to do anything. What a gift! For once I was able to try bras on without Tater Tot proclaiming loudly “Mommy’s got a bra-ha-ha on!”. It was nice. Then we ordered take-out from my favorite place and it was yummy!

There have been several things going on since I last blogged on a regular basis so let me update you. It’s not all that earth-shattering but I figured why not let you know? For one, I have lost 9 pounds. That’s after I gained 5 over the holidays and had not been able to get them off regardless of my proclamations that I would be steadfast in my New Year’s Resolutions. The resolutions did NOT stick. But around the beginning of April I found www.my-calorie-counter.com and started tracking my calories. I HATE, HATE, HATE counting calories but, guess what? It’s working. So I have been pretty focused on nutrition and exercise for the past month and it has worked. I feel more comfortable in my own skin. I still have 5 pounds to go but my clothes fit right again and I feel like I’m at least back to Normal Mommy instead of Schlubby Mommy Whose Pants Are Too Tight. In fact, I am a few pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight and able to wear clothes that I haven’t been able to wear in a couple of years! It feels good.

The most major Tot-related thing that has been going on is just Two-Ness. The Tot saying “No” to most everything I say, taking foooorrrreeeeevvvvveeeer to do most things that could take two seconds (can you tell that’s a peeve of mine?), dissolving into a puddle of tears and tantrums at the slightest provocation, and generally just exercising her right to change her mind every 5 seconds. Discipline is starting to come into play but I’ve thought long and hard about the things that I need to “time her out” for. I don’t have a comprehensive list or anything but, at least at this point, I feel like if it’s just inconveniencing me (i.e. doing things slower than I’d like) or not doing things exactly when/how I ask her to do it the first time, then I need to reserve the time out and let her be herself. Provide consequences for not listening to me and doing what I ask like “You took too long so now there isn’t time to do thus-and-so” or “Since you didn’t listen to Mommy, you can’t do this-or-that”. I need to plan that things will take longer than I expect and make sure that she understands the things that are absolute no-no’s. As I’m typing that I wonder if I will be spoiling her. And then I wonder what the value is of having a kid that will “snap to” when I ask her to do something. I don’t want her to be Robot Kid but I also do NOT want to have a Spoiled Girl and I can’t just have her ignoring Mommy, can I? There’s gotta be something in between and I am on a quest to find it. Sometimes I feel like I need a concrete plan for parenting or Tater Tot will feel the effects of how schizophrenic I sometimes feel about parenting! But I guess that parenting can be schizophrenic so maybe I should just learn how to go with the flow a little bit more, huh? Hasn’t ever been my strong suit as you can probably tell if you have read my over-analyzing, neurotic posts in the past. So, for the time being, am I taking many deep cleansing breaths, reciting my mantra “She is two. She is two. She is two.” under my breath and remembering that despite her two-ness right now, she is the best, most amazing little girl on the planet and I am lucky to be her Mommy!

I have not been posting very much lately (as I inadvertently taught Tater Tot to say “Duh, Mommy”). Life just has been getting in the way. The Tater Tot has sprouted like a weed and looks like a 3 year old even though she is only 26 months old. Every week when we go to Mommy and Me, someone asks me “Did she get taller this week?” She talks like a three year old, too. She still isn’t potty training and I am soooo ready for her to. She just has no interest in sitting on the potty seat. Or the toilet. But I have noticed that there will be hours at a time where she’s completely dry so we’re getting there in terms of readiness. She is drinking from a regular cup now and using a spoon and a fork by herself. Not neatly, mind you. But she’s two so I really can’t expect the stain removal marathon to end yet, can I?

I just can’t believe it when I look at her. She’s my little girl. And I have to say that I really love being The Mommy of a Toddler Girl. Although the asserting of independence at interesting, frustrating and inconvenient times can grate on me, I know that it’s normal. I’m actually enjoying learning how to deal with it in a way that is constructive. A way that allows her to be herself but sets appropriate boundaries. And I’m learning to recognize when I need to just get over myself and let her do whatever she is doing that is grating on my nerves at that particular time. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I know that I need to get her to stop doing whatever it is she is doing to make me crazy so that I don’t lose it but most of the time I just need to take a deep breath and realize it’s not that vital.

She and The Daddy are enjoying spending time together more now that she’s a little toddler girl. This is a wonderful thing for The Mommy. It allows me to try to take better care of myself, the house, and everyone else. Gives me a little break. We’ve got a nice little routine going and I like it. Of course, now that I’ve recognized this fact, it’s time for the routine to change and my world to be plunged into chaos again. It seems to always work like that. I get comfortable and then everything changes! Oh well, that’s one thing Mommyhood has taught me: you’ve got to adapt. Survival of the fittest, Baby!

The Daddy finally made the call on The Dog and we had her put to sleep yesterday. I’m sad. He’s sad. He did a phenomenal job explaining things in a way that a two year old could understand and had her say good bye to The Dog. He told her that The Dog was going to see her Mommy and Daddy. Now, I’m sure she doesn’t understand that she’s never coming back and I halfway think that she won’t even notice that she’s gone for a while. You see, The Dog was old and sick and really didn’t want to be bothered with little sticky hands that didn’t always know how to be gentle. They kind of kept a wide berth of one another unless supervised. But, when supervised, Tater Tot enjoyed petting The Dog and The Dog came to trust that Tater Tot wasn’t going to hurt her. She would come up while we were sitting on the floor, stick her nose under my arm, and nudge it up so she could put her little face under it. That was her saying “Pet me, Momma”. I will miss that. And the way she got so excited when we came home. It usually didn’t matter if we’d only been gone 10 minutes, she was still excited that Her People were home again. She was an exceptional dog and we will miss her.

Not so much anymore. Tater Tot showed a brief interest in the potty seat again last week but not any more. I’m not concerned yet since she is just a bit over 2 but it sure would be nice to be done with diapers. I’m looking forward to selling off my cloth diaper stash and moving on. Not wanting to cause potty power struggles, however, I think I’ve got a little ways to go yet. I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing which is offering the potty seat at regular intervals and letting her choose whether or not she wants to. I should probably start reading those articles on potty training that I haven’t gotten around to yet…

There, I said it. I’m old. I’m watching VH-1’s Greatest Hits of the 90’s and I am O-L-D. I remember dancing my BUTT off to some of these songs at the clubs before I was married. Back when I had the energy and the body to do so. Now, if I dance, it could start an earthquake here in sunny SoCal. Okay, so that’s an exaggeration but it would definitely start some jigglin’ that wouldn’t stop any time soon on the Mommy Body. *Heavy sigh* Yes, I know just about every word to every cheesy 90’s song they are profiling. I am not proud of that.

On a different note, I feel better today. I went to PT tonight and I feel much stronger. Yes, I’m going to physical therapy still for several reasons, including that Tater Tot is 30 pounds and she still “Want Mommy to carry zhyou.” And how can you say “no” to the cutest child on the planet? Answer: you can’t. But mostly these days we’re working on a really, really old hamstring running injury that is coming back to haunt me. Hurting at really inopportune times like when I’m walking. Yeah, walking. Not fun. But it’s getting better and I don’t feel any longer like my injuries will have me put out to pasture before I’m 40. The exhaustion and shortness of breath might, but not my injuries…

Even though I am thrashed more often than not after my 12+ hour days taking care of Tater Tot, the house, and The Daddy, I am happy with my life. Tonight during “reading time”, while Tater Tot was screeching and running, Daddy was reading, and I was corralling The Tot, being Kissy Monster trying to get “smackaroonies” from her, I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else doing anything else. I am where I’m supposed to be.

The Dog is still with us. The Daddy said again this morning that he’s gonna have to make that call soon but, as of this writing, he hasn’t. So, until then, I’m not going to think about it. I just get too worked up. When he makes the call and I have to say goodbye, then I’ll think about it.

A couple of posts ago I was writing about the “twos”. The transformation of my little angel to The Girl Who Doesn’t Listen To Her Mommy. Or, I guess we could call her Timeout Girl. We had a rough day the other day and I was just worn out. Her behavior wasn’t all that bad but it was definitely a departure from what I’m used to. Add to that the fact that I just didn’t feel good physically and there you have a trying day.

The past two days have been much better. That’s not to say that Timeout Girl hasn’t shown up on occasion but it has been for lesser infractions and there has not been the horrific hissy fit or “I’m pretending I don’t hear you factor”. She has managed to avoid the things that really push my buttons and I have managed to take things a heckuvalot less personally. Take a deep breath (or two or five) and plow on in a more calm and patient way. I am grateful for this.

This is a limited time offer and ends April 1st so hurry!

She’s two. She is so two right now I can’t stand it. Feeling crappy doesn’t do much for the amount of patience that I have either, unfortunately. I am irritable and short of humor sometimes. Like when it takes 10 minutes to go down the stairs because she wants to slide down head-first on her belly and I won’t let her. Or she has to examine every bump on our textured walls as she makes her way down. And comment on them, too. Or go down on her bottom. No, on her feet. Wait, no, the bottom again. “Uh, mmm, uh…Mommy make quack sounds.” And I wonder if it’s just me being old and tired or if her behavior has gotten more demanding and outlandish. Maybe a little bit of both. I wish they would just figure out what the heck’s wrong with me already so I could feel better and eliminate that factor altogether.

We had a rocky time running errands this morning and The Mommy got a crash course in Timeouts-On-The-Go. They didn’t work, basically. I will tell her not to do something and she will look me in the eye while she does it. Or I will ask her to do something and she pretends not to hear me. I was shocked the first time she used this tactic. I’m not sure why I was shocked. Why should my experience be any different than any of yours? Why would my child not exert her independence cleverly disguised as defiance just like anybody else’s children? The thing that disturbs me the most is the taking a swipe at me. She doesn’t hit hard but she definitely strikes out in frustration. That is nothing that she has ever seen us do and we’ve told her several times already that, in our family we never, never, never hit people or animals. I’m kind of devastated right now although I know I’ll bounce back. She’s just Testin’ The Momma.

On a more positive note, she’s back on the potty seat after two weeks of quiet “no’s” when I asked her if she wanted to go potty on the potty seat. The defiance is hitting me just like the potty training did at first. I’m just not prepared for my sweet little angel to push the boundaries while learning how to handle her frustration appropriately. Tantrums I can handle. The defiance just took me by surprise. And it kinda pushes my buttons. Guess I’d better get ready and quick, huh?

The Good News is that Tater Tot went to the doc yesterday morning to check her ear infection and it’s gone. Her ears look great and her lungs sound great. Of course she has now developed another little sniffle/sneeze/whatever so we didn’t go to pre-school but, at least for now, it hasn’t gotten worse. It’s probably just a little cold.

The Bad News is that The Dog is not doing well and I think The Daddy is gonna make the call this week. It’s such a hard decision to make! But her quality of life is not good right now and it’s not going to get any better, unfortunately. So, we’ll see. I get teary just thinking about it even though I know it’ll be best for her. I just can’t imagine what it’s going to be like without her around. We’ll see, though, because he’s said that before and he hasn’t been able to do it yet…

Tater Tot has a funny way of designating anything that she doesn’t know the name for as a “singie” (thingie). “Zhyou want dat toy.” “Which toy?” I ask. “Da Singie Toy.” “The Thingie Toy?” “Dat Singie Toy” she says. Or she’ll say, “Ooooh, look at dat singie.” I try not to laugh but it’s just so danged cute! And I think I’m in trouble already with the girlie stuff. Sometimes when she puts my shoes on her feet she says “Ooooh, deez look pretty good wif deez sockies”. She regularly poses in front of the mirror and smiles at herself. Or “does some posing” that looks more like gymnastics to me but what do I know from posing? She especially likes to look at herself when I put her hair up in ponytails or in a head band. She thinks she’s pretty cute. And she’s right.