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The Daddy finally made the call on The Dog and we had her put to sleep yesterday. I’m sad. He’s sad. He did a phenomenal job explaining things in a way that a two year old could understand and had her say good bye to The Dog. He told her that The Dog was going to see her Mommy and Daddy. Now, I’m sure she doesn’t understand that she’s never coming back and I halfway think that she won’t even notice that she’s gone for a while. You see, The Dog was old and sick and really didn’t want to be bothered with little sticky hands that didn’t always know how to be gentle. They kind of kept a wide berth of one another unless supervised. But, when supervised, Tater Tot enjoyed petting The Dog and The Dog came to trust that Tater Tot wasn’t going to hurt her. She would come up while we were sitting on the floor, stick her nose under my arm, and nudge it up so she could put her little face under it. That was her saying “Pet me, Momma”. I will miss that. And the way she got so excited when we came home. It usually didn’t matter if we’d only been gone 10 minutes, she was still excited that Her People were home again. She was an exceptional dog and we will miss her.

Not so much anymore. Tater Tot showed a brief interest in the potty seat again last week but not any more. I’m not concerned yet since she is just a bit over 2 but it sure would be nice to be done with diapers. I’m looking forward to selling off my cloth diaper stash and moving on. Not wanting to cause potty power struggles, however, I think I’ve got a little ways to go yet. I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing which is offering the potty seat at regular intervals and letting her choose whether or not she wants to. I should probably start reading those articles on potty training that I haven’t gotten around to yet…

There, I said it. I’m old. I’m watching VH-1’s Greatest Hits of the 90’s and I am O-L-D. I remember dancing my BUTT off to some of these songs at the clubs before I was married. Back when I had the energy and the body to do so. Now, if I dance, it could start an earthquake here in sunny SoCal. Okay, so that’s an exaggeration but it would definitely start some jigglin’ that wouldn’t stop any time soon on the Mommy Body. *Heavy sigh* Yes, I know just about every word to every cheesy 90’s song they are profiling. I am not proud of that.

On a different note, I feel better today. I went to PT tonight and I feel much stronger. Yes, I’m going to physical therapy still for several reasons, including that Tater Tot is 30 pounds and she still “Want Mommy to carry zhyou.” And how can you say “no” to the cutest child on the planet? Answer: you can’t. But mostly these days we’re working on a really, really old hamstring running injury that is coming back to haunt me. Hurting at really inopportune times like when I’m walking. Yeah, walking. Not fun. But it’s getting better and I don’t feel any longer like my injuries will have me put out to pasture before I’m 40. The exhaustion and shortness of breath might, but not my injuries…

Even though I am thrashed more often than not after my 12+ hour days taking care of Tater Tot, the house, and The Daddy, I am happy with my life. Tonight during “reading time”, while Tater Tot was screeching and running, Daddy was reading, and I was corralling The Tot, being Kissy Monster trying to get “smackaroonies” from her, I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else doing anything else. I am where I’m supposed to be.

The Dog is still with us. The Daddy said again this morning that he’s gonna have to make that call soon but, as of this writing, he hasn’t. So, until then, I’m not going to think about it. I just get too worked up. When he makes the call and I have to say goodbye, then I’ll think about it.

A couple of posts ago I was writing about the “twos”. The transformation of my little angel to The Girl Who Doesn’t Listen To Her Mommy. Or, I guess we could call her Timeout Girl. We had a rough day the other day and I was just worn out. Her behavior wasn’t all that bad but it was definitely a departure from what I’m used to. Add to that the fact that I just didn’t feel good physically and there you have a trying day.

The past two days have been much better. That’s not to say that Timeout Girl hasn’t shown up on occasion but it has been for lesser infractions and there has not been the horrific hissy fit or “I’m pretending I don’t hear you factor”. She has managed to avoid the things that really push my buttons and I have managed to take things a heckuvalot less personally. Take a deep breath (or two or five) and plow on in a more calm and patient way. I am grateful for this.

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She’s two. She is so two right now I can’t stand it. Feeling crappy doesn’t do much for the amount of patience that I have either, unfortunately. I am irritable and short of humor sometimes. Like when it takes 10 minutes to go down the stairs because she wants to slide down head-first on her belly and I won’t let her. Or she has to examine every bump on our textured walls as she makes her way down. And comment on them, too. Or go down on her bottom. No, on her feet. Wait, no, the bottom again. “Uh, mmm, uh…Mommy make quack sounds.” And I wonder if it’s just me being old and tired or if her behavior has gotten more demanding and outlandish. Maybe a little bit of both. I wish they would just figure out what the heck’s wrong with me already so I could feel better and eliminate that factor altogether.

We had a rocky time running errands this morning and The Mommy got a crash course in Timeouts-On-The-Go. They didn’t work, basically. I will tell her not to do something and she will look me in the eye while she does it. Or I will ask her to do something and she pretends not to hear me. I was shocked the first time she used this tactic. I’m not sure why I was shocked. Why should my experience be any different than any of yours? Why would my child not exert her independence cleverly disguised as defiance just like anybody else’s children? The thing that disturbs me the most is the taking a swipe at me. She doesn’t hit hard but she definitely strikes out in frustration. That is nothing that she has ever seen us do and we’ve told her several times already that, in our family we never, never, never hit people or animals. I’m kind of devastated right now although I know I’ll bounce back. She’s just Testin’ The Momma.

On a more positive note, she’s back on the potty seat after two weeks of quiet “no’s” when I asked her if she wanted to go potty on the potty seat. The defiance is hitting me just like the potty training did at first. I’m just not prepared for my sweet little angel to push the boundaries while learning how to handle her frustration appropriately. Tantrums I can handle. The defiance just took me by surprise. And it kinda pushes my buttons. Guess I’d better get ready and quick, huh?

The Good News is that Tater Tot went to the doc yesterday morning to check her ear infection and it’s gone. Her ears look great and her lungs sound great. Of course she has now developed another little sniffle/sneeze/whatever so we didn’t go to pre-school but, at least for now, it hasn’t gotten worse. It’s probably just a little cold.

The Bad News is that The Dog is not doing well and I think The Daddy is gonna make the call this week. It’s such a hard decision to make! But her quality of life is not good right now and it’s not going to get any better, unfortunately. So, we’ll see. I get teary just thinking about it even though I know it’ll be best for her. I just can’t imagine what it’s going to be like without her around. We’ll see, though, because he’s said that before and he hasn’t been able to do it yet…

Tater Tot has a funny way of designating anything that she doesn’t know the name for as a “singie” (thingie). “Zhyou want dat toy.” “Which toy?” I ask. “Da Singie Toy.” “The Thingie Toy?” “Dat Singie Toy” she says. Or she’ll say, “Ooooh, look at dat singie.” I try not to laugh but it’s just so danged cute! And I think I’m in trouble already with the girlie stuff. Sometimes when she puts my shoes on her feet she says “Ooooh, deez look pretty good wif deez sockies”. She regularly poses in front of the mirror and smiles at herself. Or “does some posing” that looks more like gymnastics to me but what do I know from posing? She especially likes to look at herself when I put her hair up in ponytails or in a head band. She thinks she’s pretty cute. And she’s right.

Before I got pregnant, the thought of using cloth diapers literally never entered my head. I had no idea at all what was involved or how much cloth diapers have evolved since back in the day. When the Tater Tot was a wee one, I met someone who was using cloth diapers with her little girl and I became very interested. I am by no means a cloth diapering expert but I will say that I have learned quite a bit in the time that I have been using them. If you’re interested in trying them out, take a look at the Nurtured Family site. Right now they’ve got Fuzzi Bunz diapers with free inserts and FREE SHIPPING!

If you’ve tried the old version of Fuzzi Bunz and they didn’t work for you, I would definitely recommend checking them out again. They’ve made the tabs bigger to prevent sagging in the front (the reason we went with Bum Genius instead of Fuzzi Bunz) and the elastic around the legs stretchier to accomodate all sizes of cute, chubby little baby legs! If I weren’t just about to potty train The Tot, I’d get a few of these myself! And, with free shipping these are the best deal that I’ve seen on Fuzzi Bunz anywhere!

Nurtured Family also carries Bum Genius, Mommy’s Touch, Happy Heinys, Swaddlebees, Sckoon, and Blueberry cloth diapers, inserts, and accessories as well as a whole lot of other natural products for mommies, babies, and toddlers. Give ‘em a look!

At some point long ago I used the phrase “clean and fresh” to describe how Tater Tot was after a bath or a diaper change or some such event that had rid her of dirtiness. From that point on, diaper changes, baths, throwing Gossageesie in the washing machine, changing socks, whatever was dubbed by her as getting “clean an’ fwesh”. It is so flippin’ adorable to hear her say it. She runs around hugging Gossageesie after he’s had a “bath” in the washing machine saying “Clean an’ fwesh. Gossageesie is clean an’ fwesh.” It’s funny what sticks with kids…

At the risk of making this more about me than about The Tater Tot, I’m going to post about my visit to the nurse-practitioner today. I was all prepared for her to not take me seriously when I said that I’m a totally exhausted mother of a two-year-old. I expected her to say “Well, what do you expect?”. But she didn’t. She ordered a full thyroid panel, some tests to check for anemia and B12 levels. Apparently the getting out of breath by the top of my staircase is something worth checking out. So, I got about a gazillion tubes of blood taken and a referral to an endocrinologist. Hallelujah! I’m relieved just to get the ball rolling because, before the start of the year, I had been feeling really, really good! Happy, content, and with enough energy to get through my day. Since then things have been rolling down hill and rapidly gaining speed. So at least I’ve got things rolling with that. Wow, if it’s not one thing it’s another with my health these days. What a pain in the ever-expanding Mommy Butt.

We hosted a small play date today and it was really nice. I’m finding that two or three kids is really Tater Tot’s limit right now and even then she doesn’t like to “share” Mommy with the other Mommies. Or the other kids. One of the little girls started throwing the ball to me so I was throwing it back. The Tater Tot was not fond of her Mommy playing ball with anyone else. I haven’t seen that before with her. It was interesting. Each play date is a learning experience for both of us and that’s a good thing.

Wow. I just thought about the fact that a year ago I was writing “Mommy Group Reject” posts and this year I’m hosting mommy group play dates. It does feel like I’ve got things a lot more together than when Tater Tot was a wee one. It feels good. And the conversation with actual adults doesn’t hurt, either. Thanks, Ladies for a good time this morning!